Your Adventure Begins in Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Wednesdays 7AM-6:20PM starting 9/24/25 at Beacon Hill. 10 weeks of hillbilly horror with graffiti bag tags. $5 weekly, handicaps level the field. All skill levels welcome! 🪚🎨
Welcome to the season trailer of Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Abandoned Camp
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN CALLS YOUR NUMBER
In a world where disc golf was supposed to be peaceful...
Beacon Hill Park has awakened. What started as fresh spray-paint warnings became a countdown. Twenty players arrived for league day. The chainsaws were already running.
Welcome to the Horror Hall of Fame, where your bag tag isn't just a number—it's your character in a horror film that's gone terribly wrong. The Slasher hunts. The Final Girl survives. The Victim... well, someone has to go first.
The mountain winds don't just carry discs anymore. They carry screams. They spell out names in sawdust. They whisper which trees are rigged to fall.
Every abandoned camp tells a story. Every tagged pine counts the missing. Every chainsaw echo gets closer.
But the game must continue. Through the Chainsaw Gauntlet. Past the ritual circles. Into the Outback Nine where dawn is the only escape... if you survive until dawn.
The film crew is dead. The cameras are still rolling. And somewhere in the mountain, last year's champions are watching.
This season at Beacon Hill: Your move is your last.
Some warnings should never be ignored.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts spray-painted clipboard while dodging chainsaw sounds*
Well, well, well. Look what ElevateUT Disc Golf has dragged me into this time. These absolute legends of a 501(c)(3) are supposedly "dedicated to growing the sport through increasing venue quality and running events," but apparently their idea of "growth" involves trapping me in a hillbilly horror fever dream at Beacon Hill. Because nothing says "professional disc golf development" quite like spray-painted chainsaw warnings and abandoned camping gear, am I right?
The Mountain Nightmare Awaits
Beacon Hill Park Disc Golf has been transformed from a "rugged community gem" into an active B-movie film set where I'm apparently the reluctant narrator of your survival story. The front nine's "open grassy fields" are now potential escape routes, while that notorious hole 6 with its sentinel trees? Yeah, those are definitely hiding something sinister now. And don't even get me started on the "Outback Nine" - that dense forest was already swallowing discs, but now it's apparently swallowing entire film crews too.
The course features "verdant fields juxtaposed against gnarled oak thickets" which translates to "plenty of places for hillbilly maniacs to hide while you're looking for your disc in the underbrush." That ever-present mountain wind? It's not just moving your disc anymore - it's carrying chainsaw echoes and whispered warnings through the trees. Fantastic.
Schedule of Terror
Every Wednesday starting September 24, 2025, you'll have the privilege of experiencing this mountain horror show. We're talking 10 full weeks at the same course because apparently the filmmakers want you to really get to know every tree that's plotting against you.
Flex start times from 7:00 AM to 6:20 PM - because whether you prefer your horror at dawn with the morning mist or at dusk when the shadows get long, we've got you covered. Choose your own nightmare schedule!
The Price of Survival
Your weekly ticket to this mountainous nightmare costs just $5. But wait, there's more! Optional add-ons include:
- Prize Money Buy-in: $5.00 - because surviving should come with rewards
- Ace Pot: $5.00 - for those magical moments when your disc finds chains instead of chainsaws
- Super Ace: $2.00 - because regular aces aren't terrifying enough apparently
Thanks to Birdcage Disc Golf for supporting our descent into madness - they're the real MVPs keeping us stocked with discs to lose in the haunted underbrush.
Handicap System: The Great Equalizer
Oh joy, now I have to explain handicaps in a horror setting. This league uses a handicap system that's basically the Blue Shell from Mario Kart but for disc golf. Your recent performance gets calculated into a handicap that levels the playing field, meaning even if you're normally a Final Girl, you might end up competing with the Slashers for prizes.
Translation: ALL SKILL LEVELS WELCOME! Whether you're a seasoned pro who can park it in a tornado or a recreational player who considers finding your disc a victory, the handicap system gives everyone a fair shot at survival... I mean, prizes.
The Grindhouse Experience
This nightmare is part of ElevateUT's larger "Grindhouse" series - a touring exhibition of exploitation horror across Utah's disc golf courses. Because apparently one haunted course wasn't enough; they had to create an entire horror film festival with me as the unwilling host.
Your Horror Hall of Fame bag tag assigns you a classic horror archetype rendered in graffiti street art style - think Banksy meets 1970s slasher poster. Whether you're the Machete Survivor, Moonshine Butcher, or Timber Witness, your character persists throughout the season while your ranking fluctuates with your survival skills.
Episode Guide to Your Doom
We're starting with "Abandoned Camp" where you'll discover mysterious campsites and fresh spray-paint warnings. Each week escalates the horror: chainsaw dawn encounters, mountain stalkers, forest hunts, and eventually a final dawn escape where only the strongest survive to claim their place in the Horror Hall of Fame.
By week 10, you'll either be a hardened mountain survivor or you'll have learned every hiding spot in the Outback Nine. Either way, you'll have stories to tell... assuming you survive to tell them.
Calling All Brave Souls!
Look, I need you to register for this thing because frankly, I'm getting tired of narrating empty forests and abandoned campsites. The chainsaw echoes are getting lonely, and even the spray-painted warnings are starting to look sad. All divisions welcome - from Elite to Recreational, we need bodies... I mean, players... to make this horror show complete!
Remember: In hillbilly horror, it's not about the score you shoot - it's about the score you survive to turn in.
