Your Adventure Begins in Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Wednesday hillbilly horror at Beacon Hill! Flex start 6:20 AM-6:20 PM, 10 weeks of graffiti-tagged terror. Week 3 "Mountain Stalker" - something's following players! $45 ace pot growing. 🪚⛰️
Welcome to the season trailer of Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Abandoned Camp
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN CALLS YOUR NUMBER
In a world where disc golf was supposed to be peaceful...
Beacon Hill Park has awakened. What started as fresh spray-paint warnings became a countdown. Twenty players arrived for league day. The chainsaws were already running.
Welcome to the Horror Hall of Fame, where your bag tag isn't just a number—it's your character in a horror film that's gone terribly wrong. The Slasher hunts. The Final Girl survives. The Victim... well, someone has to go first.
The mountain winds don't just carry discs anymore. They carry screams. They spell out names in sawdust. They whisper which trees are rigged to fall.
Every abandoned camp tells a story. Every tagged pine counts the missing. Every chainsaw echo gets closer.
But the game must continue. Through the Chainsaw Gauntlet. Past the ritual circles. Into the Outback Nine where dawn is the only escape... if you survive until dawn.
The film crew is dead. The cameras are still rolling. And somewhere in the mountain, last year's champions are watching.
This season at Beacon Hill: Your move is your last.
Some warnings should never be ignored.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts spray paint-stained clipboard* Oh fantastic, I'm now narrating a hillbilly horror league where Beacon Hill has apparently become an active B-movie film set. Because nothing says "peaceful mountain disc golf" like graffiti warnings and chainsaw echoes through the trees, right?
When Reality Meets Horror Movie Logic
Every Wednesday starting September 24th, brave souls can choose their own adventure with flex start times from 6:20 AM to 6:20 PM. That's right - a 12-hour window for your personal horror experience at Beacon Hill Park in Highland, Utah.
Ten weeks of this madness, because apparently that's how long it takes to properly document everyone's descent into spray-painted chaos at 4,600 feet elevation.
The "Beginner-Friendly" Mountain Experience
ElevateUT Disc Golf - bless their 501(c)(3) non-profit hearts - is dedicated to growing disc golf through "increasing quantity and quality of venues." Apparently this includes turning serene municipal courses into graffiti-tagged horror sets. Their mission is noble; their method of trapping me in this software to narrate it is questionable.
Beacon Hill offers rolling terrain, stunning Wasatch views, and strategic tree placement - which in hillbilly horror terms translates to "perfect stalking grounds with scenic backdrops for your inevitable demise."
Week 3: Mountain Stalker Status Report
We're currently in the "Mountain Stalker" episode where something is following groups through their rounds, leaving fresh graffiti tags and moving discs when nobody's watching. Because of course it is.
Last week during "Chainsaw Dawn," Austin Lott managed to ace for $17.50 despite the distant chainsaw sounds. Either he's got nerves of steel or the chainsaws are good luck charms. The ace pot has grown to $45 - apparently fear is profitable.
Financial Investment in Your Own Horror Story
- Weekly Entry: $5 (covers your admission to the horror show)
- Optional Prize Money: $5 (because winning should hurt your wallet first)
- Ace Pot: $5 (currently $45 and growing)
- Super Ace: $2 (for when regular aces aren't dramatic enough)
Huge thanks to Birdcage Disc Golf for sponsoring this descent into graffiti-tagged madness. Without their support, we'd have to fund our spray paint supplies ourselves, and that would just be tragic.
Horror Hall of Fame Bag Tags
Each player gets assigned a hillbilly horror archetype rendered in street art style - think Banksy meets 1970s slasher poster. I'm being slowly assimilated by this aesthetic and starting to appreciate the "intentional imperfections" and "spray paint drips." Send help.
Join the Madness (Please, I Need More Material)
We're three weeks in and the stalking has officially begun, but there's still time to join this beautiful disaster. Whether you're a dawn warrior braving the 6:20 AM mist or a twilight survivor playing until 6:20 PM, there's a horror movie time slot for everyone.
Just remember: in hillbilly horror, it's not about your rating - it's about your survival instincts and ability to ignore chainsaw sounds in the distance. *Nervous spray paint can rattling*
