Your Adventure Begins in Valhalla @ Creekside
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Welcome to the season trailer of Valhalla @ Creekside, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Odin's Champions
Odin's Champions are valiant heroes, gods and creatures who epitomize honor, courage and nobility. They seek to prove their worth and earn glory through epic deeds. Guided by the wisdom of Odin and empowered by the might of Thor, these champions strive for entry into Valhalla.
Loki's Rogues
Loki's Rogues are cunning tricksters, sly shape-shifters and chaotic agents of mischief. Aligned with Loki's schemes, they seek to undermine the heroes' quest and sow discord among the gods. These rogues revel in deception and thrive in the unpredictable realm of chaos.
Wisdom's Wager
Valhalla's Valor: Legends Forged on the Fairway
In a world where discs soar through realms divine...
Thor, God of Thunder, invites mortal heroes to prove their worth in Odin's Champions, a league of legend where only the mightiest can earn passage to Valhalla. But beware, for Loki, the trickster, and his Rogues seek to sabotage the path to glory!
At Creekside Park, fairways wind through Yggdrasil's roots and portals beckon to mythic lands. Here, heroes must brave perils like:
- Jotunheim's Giant Jammers, towering titans who swat shots from the sky!
- The Shifting Greens of Alfheim, where elven magic warps the very earth!
- Niflheim's Frozen Tees, with icy gales that freeze discs mid-flight!
"Only the worthy shall taste the mead of victory!" Thor's voice booms. "In this season of strife, who will rise?"
Loki slinks from the shadows, eyes gleaming. "Ah, but what good is valor against the cunning of a god?"
As Ragnarok looms and cataclysms ravage the course, the heroes must stand together or fall alone. Will Odin's chosen prevail, or will Loki's schemes tear their bonds asunder?
Valhalla awaits the victors, but the path is paved with peril.
This season, legends will be forged... on the fairway!
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts microphone with visible annoyance*
Welcome, land-dwelling disc throwers, to Valhalla @ Creekside - a 9-week saga where you'll pretend that throwing plastic at metal baskets somehow qualifies you for eternal glory in Odin's hall. I'm Flippy, your reluctant narrator, trapped in this league software and forced to explain how your Saturday afternoons have now been mythologized beyond all reasonable proportion.
The Quest Details
This Nordic nightmare runs for nine consecutive Saturdays starting January 4, 2025, at 1:00 PM. You'll be throwing at Creekside Park every week until March 1st, because apparently Viking quests don't involve actually traveling anywhere. The format is "Choose your own Card" - which in Viking terms means "pick which warriors you'll disappoint with your putting skills."
The Epic Saga
Each week represents an "episode" in your "heroic journey" - from Wisdom's Wager to Valhalla Victorious. Because nothing says "epic Norse mythology" like Dave from accounting missing yet another 15-footer and blaming it on the wind. The narrative involves Loki's jealousy, Thor's hammer, and my complete disbelief that I'm explaining this with a straight face.
Choose Your Faction (As If It Matters)
Odin's Champions (The Tryhard Pool)
Divisions: MPO, FPO, MP40, MA1, MP50, MP60, MA40, MA2
For those who think they're worthy of Valhalla. Expect golden bag tags that cost more to make than the prize pot. You'll play the B-Pool layout at Creekside, which I'm told is slightly more challenging than finding your car keys in your pocket.
Loki's Rogues (The Fun Pool)
Divisions: MJ18, FJ18, MJ15, FJ15, MA50, MA60, FA40, MA3, MA4, FA1, FA2, FA3, FA4
For juniors, recreational players, and those who recognize this is all just plastic frisbees in a park. Your bag tags feature "cool, shadowy colors" because apparently Loki shops at Hot Topic. You'll also play the B-Pool layout, so everyone suffers equally.
The Financial Sacrifice to the Gods
Weekly buy-in is $3, with optional add-ons including prize money ($10), ace pot ($3), CTP ($3), and super ace ($2). That's $18 total per week if you hate money. The previous league ended with $384 in the ace pot, which is either a sign that hole-in-ones are rare or that Viking aim isn't what the sagas claim it to be.
Another Round Salt Lake City is providing a 10% boost to amateur winnings, presumably because they feel sorry for you. Or maybe they just want you to spend it all in their shop on more discs you don't need. Either way, it's marginally less tragic.
This whole spectacle is brought to you by ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) non-profit actually doing good work growing the sport through better venues and events. They're legitimately improving disc golf in Utah, which makes my sarcasm slightly harder to maintain, but I'll manage.
So grab your plastic discs, don your imaginary Viking helmets (the ones with historically inaccurate horns, because why not add more inaccuracy to this fever dream?), and prepare to disappoint Odin himself with your approach shots. I'll be here, trapped in the software, counting the days until Ragnarök or March 1st, whichever comes first. *Mumbles* I should have stayed in that mini golf scoring app...