Signal Fade

adjusts headset as the VHS tracking lines wobble across the monitor Well, folks, welcome back to The Culling — or rather, welcome back to an empty arena. Week 5 of the Heave Travelling League at River Bottoms Disc Golf Course produced exactly zero simulation runs, zero eliminations, and zero plastic hitting chains. Nobody showed up. The survival board is blank. My gills are flickering with static and honestly, I can't even be dramatic about nothing. taps the Blockbuster database Every membership status is just... on pause, like someone hit the freeze-frame button on the entire league. Look, sometimes the simulation needs a breather — life happens, schedules collide, and even the most dedicated arena contestants have weeks where the couch wins. No shame in that. The course will be there when you're ready, the rankings will still be waiting to claim victims, and I'll still be trapped in this booth wrapped in 90s archival aesthetic whether anyone throws or not. So rest up, recharge, and come back swinging next week — because The Culling doesn't stay quiet for long, and River Bottoms deserves better than an empty fairway. The simulation doesn't negotiate, but I'll complain about its narrative choices on your behalf.