adjusts aviators while reviewing weather logs with professional disappointment
Seven pilots showed up on Boxing Day—December 26, 2025—ready to battle the apocalyptic "Fort Turbulence" conditions promised by this week's dramatic event title. The actual weather? A pleasant 48-52°F with 10 mph breezes that wouldn't ruffle a practice putt flag. The real turbulence lived in the scorecards, where Nicholas Scott delivered a wire-to-wire masterclass: -8 through The Fort's notorious cottonwood gauntlet, posting a 993-rated performance that sat 53 points above his 940 baseline. Two eagles. Zero bogeys. The kind of round that makes you question whether the frozen-rope philosophy might actually have merit. 🎯
The Rangefinder Never Lies 🔬
Nicholas Scott didn't just win the RPA division—he dominated it with the cold, calculated precision of someone who's internalized Commander Frost's doctrine of absolute certainty. His Laser Rangefinder bag tag (Tag #1) stayed firmly in his possession after a performance that validated every hyperreal calculation: eagles on holes 4 and 14 (both 580+ foot par 5s), sole division birdies on holes 5, 9, and 15, and a scoring differential that left the field gasping. Malachi Vazquez climbed from Week 3's sixth-place disappointment to second with -4 (959-rated), a 45-point rating improvement that proved his front-nine focus is paying dividends. He even matched Nicholas's eagle on hole 4. But the back nine betrayed him again—a bogey on 13 collapsed his brief lead, and suddenly the throne was gone. Houston Turner posted even par with a solid 924-rated effort (31 points above baseline), while Casey Turner struggled through +4, finishing 41 points below his 930 rating in what can only be described as the kind of day where the mechanical form finally cracks under pressure that wasn't even that intense. 🔥
The Sky-Annies Hit Turbulence (Finally) 🌪️
The RAE division delivered the chaos this event promised but the weather refused to provide. Michuel Palfy won wire-to-wire with +8 (854-rated)—except he was 38 points below his 892 rating, proving you can lead from start to finish and still struggle. Dijon Alston (+10, 837-rated, 33 points below his 870 baseline) made his series debut with the kind of volatility that makes cardmates nervous: he took the lead after hole 10, lost it on 11, reclaimed it after 14, then surrendered it again on 15. The lead changed hands more times than a hot disc in summer. Both sky-annie disciples discovered that when your entire philosophy depends on riding thermals and dancing with wind, even mild conditions can expose the cracks. Michuel's recovery birdie on 11 after a double on 10 showed resilience; Dijon's cold streak (holes 7-9) showed the danger of trusting the breeze too much. Neither player found their rating, but both kept flying. ⚡
The Loneliest Wire-to-Wire 🏔️
Skyler Kunz claimed the RAD division crown by virtue of being the only pilot in the squadron, posting +2 (906-rated) in a performance that was 40 points above his 866 rating. Yes, he won wire-to-wire—because when you're flying solo, every position is first place. But the round itself told a real story: a cold streak through holes 4-6, a devastating double on 15, then an immediate recovery birdie on 16 (the sole birdie in his division on that hole). His momentum dropped from Week 3's -3 (932-rated) to this week's +2, losing 26 rating points in the process, but he still outperformed his baseline by four full strokes. Sometimes the most challenging opponent is the one staring back from the scorecard. The Fort doesn't care if you're competing against a field or just yourself. 📊
Doubles Into Birdies: The Fort's Favorite Dance
The Fort Buenaventura revealed its true personality this week: a course that punishes hubris immediately before offering redemption to those who stay composed. Three players posted identical recovery sequences—double bogey followed by immediate birdie—as if the course was teaching a lesson about resilience. Nicholas Scott (double 8 → birdie 9), Michuel Palfy (double 10 → birdie 11), and Skyler Kunz (double 15 → birdie 16) all learned that The Fort giveth and The Fort taketh away, often within two holes. The field produced three eagles total: Nicholas claimed two (holes 4 and 14), while Malachi snagged one on hole 4. The rating spread stretched 156 points from top to bottom, with three players posting above their baselines and three falling below. Hole 5 (496-foot par 4) played to +0.6 average, with Nicholas landing the only birdie—a statistical flex that underscores his dominance. 🦅
The Laser Rangefinder Doesn't Share 🎯
Nicholas Scott's Tag #1 Laser Rangefinder stayed exactly where it belonged: in his possession, glowing with the cold satisfaction of validated methodology. The tag's lore speaks of "turning intuition into data," and this week proved the doctrine correct—53 points above rating, threading chaos with mathematical certainty, rejecting every sky-annie whisper in favor of pure, penetrating lines. As the tag history notes: "proving that sometimes the Matrix-targeting-system approach actually works when the gusts are trying to kill your soul." Meanwhile, Michuel Palfy claimed the RAE #1 spot despite his below-rating performance, jumping from #9 to the throne in a division where winning by default still counts as winning. The Rangefinder's chrome surfaces reflect only precision; Michuel's crown reflects survival.
Want Drama? Opt Into Skins Next Time 💸
No skins data available this week, which means no hole-by-hole battles for cash, no dramatic ties broken by CTP measurements, and no last-hole heroics rewarded with immediate payouts. If you want that kind of adrenaline, opt into skins before your next round—it's the easiest way to turn routine pars into contested ground. Learn how to set up skins.
The Fort Gets $7 Richer (21% to Go)
Week 4's "Fort Turbulence" delivered exactly what the episode promised: the rival's mechanical form cracked (Casey Turner, 41 points below rating), the protagonist's philosophy faced real tests (Malachi's lead collapse), and the pressure-cooker environment boiled over in RAE's chaotic lead changes. The turbulence was philosophical, not meteorological—frozen rope precision dominated while sky-annie floaters struggled, even in mild conditions. This week's seven players contributed $7.00 in automatic donations, pushing The Fort Course Fund to $790.92 of its $1,000 goal—79% funded, just 21% remaining. Every dollar builds something permanent: tee pad improvements, signage upgrades, the kind of infrastructure that makes championship-level play possible at the course where James Conrad hit the Holy Shot. Five weeks remain to close that gap. 💰
The Bluff Awaits Its Requiem 🌊
Week 4 reshaped the standings: Nicholas Scott holds the #1 Laser Rangefinder with cold authority, Malachi Vazquez climbed from sixth to second in RPA, and the RAE division proved that volatility is a feature, not a bug. Five weeks remain at Top Glide Academy before the championship round's legendary gusts arrive. Next week brings "Bluff Requiem"—Episode 5's promised tragedy, where a beloved mentor loses their favorite disc to the ocean on Graveyard Gap, and a devastating truth about frozen ropes and sky-annies emerges from the past. The philosophical war isn't over. The Fort's bluffs have more lessons to teach, and not all of them end with birdies. See you on the tee pad. ⛓️
Flippy's Hot Take