Redwood Road Rising

sighs in haunted frontier Welcome to the Deadlands, where the season opens not with a bang, but with the slow, corrosive hiss of brine eating away at your scorecard. I'm Flippy, your reluctantly deputized narrator for this preservationist nightmare—a show where your score determines how fast you turn into a salt statue on the Jordan River flats. The Curators of the Dead Sea have raised the waters, exposing the ancient salt flats and the lost souls preserved beneath, and thirteen souls braved the receding tide at Roots Disc Golf Course to prove they deserve to stay organic. Congratulations, you're all fresh meat in the brine.

The RAD Redemption Arc 📜

In the RAD division, the lead changed hands like a cursed deed no one wanted to hold. Ben Allen stalked through the front nine with surgical precision, carding birdies on 2 and 4 while the rest of the division watched their putts wander into the salt. But the real story was Marvin Atene—who jumped out to an early lead, looking every bit the frontier gunslinger, only to have his putting stroke dissolve somewhere around hole 14. Marvin's lead evaporated like water on a Utah sidewalk in July, and Ben Allen seized the moment with a bogey-free back nine that included a birdie on 14—the exact hole where Marvin's round started its death spiral. Kent Moos also deserves a tip of the digital hat, charging from third place with a back-nine rally that included three birdies in a four-hole stretch, climbing to second and flashing the kind of resilience that keeps you from getting pickled. Ben finished at -3, Kent at even, and Marvin settled for +1—a three-stroke swing that turned a potential coronation into a cautionary tale. adjusts spectral spectacles The Deadlands don't care about your early lead, partner. Only the final score goes in the ledger.

Rating Rescue Mission Accomplished 🆘

Over in RAE, Kalen Adams posted a -1 to claim the division win, but the real drama was the rating rescue operation unfolding beneath the surface. David LaTour came out swinging like a man who'd seen the brine rising and decided to fight back, stringing together three consecutive birdies on holes 2 through 4—a stretch that briefly put him in the lead and sent his rating soaring to a +47 swing from whatever baseline he's been dragging around. The lead changed hands between David and Kalen like a hot potato at a ghost town potluck, with neither willing to let the other settle into a comfortable rhythm. Tanner Smith lurked in third, never quite putting together the run needed to close the gap but staying within striking distance until the final holes. In the end, Kalen's consistency won out—no fireworks, just the cold arithmetic of survival. The Charnel Theorem approves of this kind of efficiency, even if it makes for boring television.

The RAF Desert Duel ⚔️

Two men walked onto a salt flat. One walked out with a win. Red Jones took the RAF division with a +2 that somehow carried a +47 rating swing, which tells you everything you need to know about how the Deadlands' scoring system works—or doesn't. Nicholas Stosiek settled for +5, his round a study in missed opportunities and the slow realization that the frontier doesn't give participation trophies. Red's rating performance was the standout here—he played above his pay grade when it mattered most, while Nicholas watched his scorecard crystallize into something less flattering. Two-player divisions don't get much narrative space in the season finale edit, but in Week 1, every duel counts. Red Jones, you've earned the right to remain organic for another week.

Battle for the Brine Bucket 🪣

The RPA division delivered the kind of lead-swapping chaos that makes the sponsors forget they're funding a disc golf league in a cursed digital wasteland. Landon Adams emerged victorious at -3, but the path was anything but straight. Eric Pearson led through hole 16, playing with the kind of controlled aggression that suggests he'd read the Deadlands' rulebook and decided to write his own chapter. Then the frontier remembered it's cruel, and Eric's game went on sabbatical. Landon, meanwhile, took a hit on hole 16 but responded with the emotional resilience of someone who knows the brine doesn't care about your feelings—birdie on 17, par on 18, and a two-stroke victory margin that felt like a mile. Ian Dahlen Flor finished at even par in third, the quiet survivor who never threatened the lead but also never gave the Deadlands an opening to claim him. Sometimes that's enough.

One Man, One Tag, One Win 🏆

Bryant Adams walked onto the course at Redwood Road Rising and immediately established himself as the mathematician the Deadlands didn't know it needed. His wire-to-wire -5 in RAH was a clinic in front-nine execution—clean, efficient, the kind of round that makes the rest of the field wonder if they're playing the same course. Then hole 12 happened, because the frontier always reminds you who's in charge. Bryant took his medicine, shook off the salt, and responded with three birdies across the next three holes—a resilience run that earned him the Trailblazer achievement for setting the inaugural course record at 50 strokes. tips digital hat That's how you solve the survival equation, folks. One birdie at a time, with a side of "I will not be today's salt statue."

Sole Birdies and Lonely Pars 🦅

Across the divisions, the statistical oddities of Week 1 painted a picture of a frontier still learning its own rules. David LaTour and Kalen Adams both posted +47 rating swings, while Red Jones matched them at +47 and Bryant Adams added a +23 for good measure—four players proving that the Deadlands' rating system can be generous when it wants to be. On the flip side, multiple players found themselves buried below their ratings, wondering if they'd accidentally signed a pact with the wrong supernatural entity. The front nine saw clean execution across multiple cards, but the back nine was where dreams went to die and birdies went to live alone. Hole 14 and 17 each saw only a single birdie across all divisions—proof that even in a field of 13, some holes don't want to be tamed.

Super Ace Pot: Still Super Empty 💀

Nine contributors. $2,942 in the pot. Zero aces. The Super Ace Pot sits in its brine bath, growing fatter and more tempting with every week that passes without a winner. The split pot configuration means whoever finally solves this particular equation will walk away with a chunk of frontier gold—assuming the Deadlands doesn't decide to claim them before they can collect. stares into the distance Some mysteries are better left unsolved. This one, I'd prefer someone solve before the pot gets big enough to buy a small town in the cursed flats.

Two Pools, Two Kings, One Deadland 👑

The All-In bag tag mode did what All-In does best: reshuffled everything into chaos. Bryant Adams claimed the Charnel Theorem as Pool A's #1, the cosmic scorekeeper of the Deadlands now resting in the hands of the man who set the course record. The Charnel Theorem's obsidian tablet now bears Bryant's equation, his name written in the same blood-red script that calculates the precise moment of every future culling. Over in Pool B, Kalen Adams claimed the Deadfall Reckoning as the top tag, his -1 round earning him the right to carry Pool B's spectral burden. Both played, both defended, both left the course with their tags intact—for now. glances at the shifting equation The Charnel Theorem is patient. It knows the math always balances out in the end.

Stay Fresh or Get Pickled 🥒

Week 1 is in the books, and the Deadlands have their first batch of survivors. Thirteen souls entered the brine; thirteen souls walked out—but the arithmetic is already calculating who'll be back. The Curators are stirring the waters, and the Coming Next whispers speak of a Brine Storm that will blur the lines between player and terrain until no one can tell where the salt ends and the competitor begins. Victory keeps you fresh; defeat leaves you eternally pickled in the Salt Lake flats. Same time next week, partners. Try not to get preserved.