Heavy Carry

Heavy Carry, Light Forecast

Adjusts glasses and checks the thermal underwear return policy. Registration promised arctic warfare at 0°F, but December 10th delivered a downright balmy 49°F average with light winds and cloudy skies—the kind of weather that makes your overdressed prep look foolish and your bag feel heavier than necessary. Thirteen players showed up to Beacon Hill for Week 2's "Heavy Carry" episode, where the real weight wasn't thermal layers but the pressure of a $731 Super Ace pot, personal bests waiting to be claimed, and the question of who would wrestle the Calloway Ledger from Austin Lott's grip. Spoiler alert: the ledger found itself a new accountant. 📊

The Accountant Has Been Replaced

Malachi Vazquez delivered a masterclass in professional disc golf accounting, firing a bogey-free 1001-rated round (-11) that shot him from Tag #11 straight to Tag #1—a +10 position demolition that suggests the Calloway Ledger approves of efficient bookkeeping. The only four-digit round of the day came with zero drama and maximum precision, while Austin Lott answered with his own eagle on the 500-foot par 4 hole 5 and a 975-rated -9, but it wasn't enough to hold the throne. Brian Hansen (-6) and Clayton Rackham (-6) tied for 3rd, with Clayton's back-nine birdie barrage (4 birdies on holes 15-18) turning into literal dividends later. The lead changed hands early—Brian and Malachi tied after hole 1, Austin and Clayton surged by hole 5—but Malachi's steady hand never wavered once he took control. 🎯

Fifty Points Above the Wishers

Devin Haueter authored the RAD division's round of the day with a 949-rated explosion (-7) that shot him 50 points above his 899 rating—a Week 2 revelation after last week's 5th-place finish that proves sometimes the bag gets lighter when you stop overthinking what's in it. His back nine was 5 strokes cleaner than the front, climbing from 3rd to 1st with a clutch birdie on 18 that sealed the outright win. Chris Fox (-4, 910 rated) returned from his Week 1 tie for 1st with another solid performance and a new personal best for the layout. Kieran Buhler (-3, 896 rated, +20 above rating) held the lead through hole 8 before a bogey on 10 dropped him from contention. The lead changed four times before Devin seized control on hole 15 and never looked back. ⚡

Personal Best, Shared Crown 👑

Zack Markarian and Craig Bennett tied for the RAH division title at -4, both posting 910-rated rounds that shared the day's honors. Craig's personal best came courtesy of a back-nine surge (4 strokes better than his front) and a clutch birdie on 18 to secure the tie. The lead bounced between Craig, Zack, and Josh Apple through the first six holes before the co-champions pulled away from the field. Josh had a rougher day at +1 (844 rated), finishing 93 points below his 937 rating—a sharp regression that proves even the Weight Bearers sometimes struggle with what they're carrying. 📈

Clint's Eight-Stroke Flip

Scott Gardner and Clint Karren shared the RAE crown after a seesaw battle that saw the lead change hands six times across 18 holes, both finishing at -2 (883 rated) with clutch birdies on 18 to secure their tie. Clint's back nine was a full 8 strokes better than his front—a complete reversal of fortune that suggests he found the right disc somewhere around the turn. Scott bucked the field trend on the brutal hole 9 (par 3, 300 feet, +0.7 average), landing the division's only birdie. Jordan Davis (E, 857 rated) struggled through an 11-hole par train (holes 1-11) that never converted to momentum, finishing 40 points below his 897 rating. 🔄

Bogey-Free Dreams, Ace-Free Reality

Four personal bests were set across the field: Devin Haueter (-7), Chris Fox (-4), Craig Bennett (-4), and Austin Lott (-9)—proof that sometimes the heaviest bags produce the lightest hearts. Malachi Vazquez and Brian Hansen both navigated bogey-free rounds, with Malachi's being the only 1000+ rated performance of the day. Austin's eagle on hole 5 was the lone eagle across all divisions. Several players found sole-birdie glory on tough holes: Chris Fox on hole 2 (450 feet, +0.1 avg), Clint Karren on holes 6, 12, and 15, and Scott Gardner on holes 7, 9, and 14. The field struggled on hole 9 (+0.7 avg), but Scott Gardner defied the trend. The Super Ace pot on hole 16 remains untouched at $731+. 🎯

The Spreadsheet Has a New Boss

The Calloway Ledger has officially changed management. Malachi Vazquez rocketed from Tag #11 to Tag #1 with his 1001-rated, bogey-free masterpiece—a +10 position demolition that suggests the ledger approves of efficient accounting over flashy showmanship. Austin Lott's reign as the league's reluctant bookkeeper ends after just one week, despite his eagle and -9 performance. Per the lore, this artifact of accountability always weighs exactly one pound, but that pound feels heavier when you're carrying the expectations of Danny's wished-up professional life. The ledger's pages update themselves with brutal precision—Malachi's first entry reads: "Day 1: Subject posts 1001. Emotional interference: low. Expectations: recalibrating." The worn leather binding now bears his name in permanent teal ink, and the spreadsheet has found its new boss. 📚

The Celestial Entity Remains Unimpressed

No CTP, Ace, or Super Ace winners this week. The $731 Super Ace pot on hole 16 continues its reign as a celestial entity judging everyone's life choices from orbit—untouched, growing heavier, waiting for someone brave (or lucky) enough to hit chains from the tee. The ace pot ($95+) also survives another week. The lighthouse beacon blinked, but nobody answered the call. 🌟

$166.50 Changed Hands, Mostly Clayton's

Three skins cards exchanged $166.50 across the field, with Clayton Rackham hauling the biggest payday: 13 skins worth $65, including an 11-skin carryover scoop on hole 18 worth $55 alone—his back-nine birdie barrage paying literal dividends. Craig Bennett snagged 9 skins for $27 on the 12:20 PM card, while Scott Gardner's early-bird 7:00 AM effort netted him 12 skins for $15. The 12:00 PM card featured a 10-hole push before Clayton's closing birdie broke the dam and sent the carryover his way. Skins turn par trains into pressure cookers and birdies into paydays—Learn how to set up skins if you want to turn your next round into a micro-drama of carryovers and regret. 💰

Wishes Have Weight, So Do Donations

Episode 2 delivered on its "Heavy Carry" promise—Danny met Pocket, Malachi met the Ledger, and four players discovered that sometimes the heaviest rounds produce the lightest hearts when personal bests are involved. The $13 raised this week ($1/player automatic) pushes the Beacon Hill Course Fund to $667.95 of its $6,750 goal (10% complete)—every dollar a page in the ledger, every contribution a step toward those new baskets this course desperately needs. Check the course fund to see the improvement plan and add your own entry to the spreadsheet. 📝

Pocket Calls It "Concerning"

Week 2 ends with Malachi Vazquez atop both the standings and the Calloway Ledger, Austin Lott chasing redemption in 2nd place, and four players carrying fresh personal bests into the back half of December. The Super Ace pot grows heavier. The ledger updates itself with ruthless efficiency. Next week brings Episode 3: "Hill Handlers," where Danny's unorthodox throwing technique draws cameras, reporters, and confused competitors to Beacon Hill. The media calls it "revolutionary." Pocket calls it "concerning." I call it another week trapped in this narrative software, but hey—at least the disc golf analysis writes itself. See you at Beacon Hill. 🎬