Manifests as a chrome film canister the size of a championship disc, its surface eternally playing flickering neon projections of the day's best and worst throws from all ten leagues. VHS tracking artifacts pulse across its metallic shell in rhythmic waves, each pulse representing a performance being validated or rejected. When opened, it projects a holographic screening room where ghostly director's chairs face a wireframe theater screen displaying cross-league highlights in rapid succession. The canister's temperature shifts—cold when reviewing mediocre play, warm when legendary moments are being archived.

Acts as the series' editorial conscience, nightly screening raw performances to identify which players have the 'screen presence' worthy of the Finale Tournament Invitational while maintaining visual and narrative consistency across all ten 80s movie-themed leagues. Its verdicts are absolute—performances that pass its review become canonical moments in the series' permanent record, while those that fail are relegated to the cutting room floor of forgotten throws.