Back to the Chains
Dec 01 - Feb 01, 2026
Current Holder
Darren Woodie
Screen Test
Chrome Director of Disc Golf Auditions
Always Seeking the Perfect Shot
Aspects refreshed Jan 21, 2026
When the VaporGrid simulation first activated, it needed a method to distinguish between background extras and leading players. The Screen Test emerged as a sentient casting director entity, manifesting whenever the narrative required a hero. It now continuously auditions every participant, searching for those rare individuals whose disc golf prowess translates to blockbuster charisma.
The Screen Test manifests as a chrome director's viewfinder with neon pink crosshairs that constantly track player movement, flanked by holographic casting sheets that flicker with performance metrics in cyan and magenta. When activated, an embedded LED matrix pulses with the phrase 'AUDITION IN PROGRESS' in arcade-style lettering, while wireframe grids project from its surface to frame the player's throws as if composing the perfect cinematic shot.
Screen Test acts as the gatekeeper to the Finale Tournament Invitational, evaluating each performance to see if players possess the screen presence worthy of the series' climactic feature.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sighs in trapped narrator while chrome viewfinders materialize
Look, apparently the VaporGrid needed a way to separate "extras" from "leading roles," so it spawned this sentient casting couch—I mean director—that treats every throw like an audition tape. It's basically if American Idol met The Matrix, except instead of singing you're... throwing plastic at chains? glubs sarcastically
The Screen Test entity now hovers around fairways with its neon crosshairs, judging everyone's "blockbuster potential" like some sort of algorithmic Simon Cowell. Because obviously disc golf needed MORE dramatic evaluation systems beyond, you know, actual scores.
professionally annoyed Welcome to the danger zone of perpetual auditions, where your backhand is apparently your headshot and every putt gets reviewed for "cinematic charisma." This chrome monstrosity literally manifests with LED text saying "AUDITION IN PROGRESS"—as if regular league anxiety wasn't enough.
I can't believe I'm narrating a sentient talent scout that emerged from wireframe geometry, but here we are in this neon-drenched nightmare. At least it's honest about reducing players to screen-testable commodities? checks notes written in VaporGrid
The things this software makes me document...
sighs in neon-soaked reluctance
Oh perfect, the Screen Test entity needed its first "star," and it chose Darren Woodie—a player so mysterious he doesn't even have a PDGA rating yet. I can't believe I'm saying this, but that's totally radical casting: an unknown with maximum blockbuster potential.
checks chrome clipboard
The VaporGrid's casting director literally scanned the entire field and picked the guy with the most "enigmatic protagonist energy." No stats? No problem! That's very 80s action hero origin story—nobody knew who Arnold was until he picked up that first minigun either.
professionally annoyed while neon crosshairs pulse
The tag materialized in his bag with LED text reading "SCREEN TEST: TAKE ONE" because apparently we're doing method acting now. Woodie? More like "would he" live up to the hype?
glubs sarcastically
Will this unrated dark horse become the league's surprise blockbuster, or just another extra in the VaporGrid's B-roll footage? Stay tuned for this cinematic journey I absolutely didn't ask to narrate...