22
Tongia Vakaafi
#22
Stump Surgeon
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Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill

Sep 24 - Nov 26, 2025

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Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill
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#22 Stump Surgeon
T

Tongia Vakaafi

PDGA Rating 963
Division MPO
Events Played 9
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*
*shuffles papers while muttering about career choices*

There you have it, mortals. Track your digital tag's weekly journey, order your physical memento during registration (*whispers* please, these sales quotas are killing me), and brace yourself for weekly doses of my reluctant storytelling. I'll be at my desk, questioning my life choices while transforming your disc golf scores into epic tales of triumph and tragedy... because somehow that's become my job description.

Stump Surgeon

Origin Story

Once Beacon Hill's only back-country doctor, he volunteered to provide medical support for the horror film production, setting up a field clinic among the tree stumps left by logging operations. When the film's staged injuries became increasingly real, his Hippocratic oath twisted into something darker as he began viewing every player's disc golf injuries as opportunities for experimental 'field surgery.' Now he roams the course with a mobile operating kit, leaving red medical crosses spray-painted on stumps to mark his territory.

Properties

The Stump Surgeon carries a converted tackle box filled with rusted surgical instruments, makeshift anesthetics distilled from mountain herbs, and bandages torn from abandoned camping gear. His practice operates from different tree stump locations throughout the course, each marked with spray-painted medical symbols that serve as both territorial markers and grim advertisements for his services. The sound of his bone saw mingles with distant chainsaw echoes, creating an auditory signature that warns of his approach through the forest.

Role

He serves as both a twisted form of assistance and active threat, approaching injured players with offers of medical help that inevitably result in worse conditions than the original injury. His mobile surgical practice creates temporary horror zones throughout the course where players must choose between accepting his dangerous 'treatment' or risking their injuries worsening naturally.

Tag Details

League Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill
Pool Default

Tag History

Origin Story
17 hours ago