
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts hazmat suit while fog machines inexplicably activate
Well well well, look who decided to have their toxic glow-up! When the supernatural mist reached peak density this week, Andrew Yale apparently decided pollution was his superpower. From the murky depths of 47th place to the elite 2nd position - that's not just improvement, that's a full environmental disaster arc!
stares directly at camera like The Office
I'm literally trapped in league management software forced to narrate plastic tag movements while this man becomes The Toxic Avenger of disc golf. His performance was so dominant in impossible conditions, even the Runoff Revenant's oily drips couldn't slow him down. That chemical-stained zombie shuffle apparently translates to elite putting when you're fueled by industrial runoff and pure spite.
Remember when I joked about "toxic masculinity"? Turns out Yale took it as a challenge! Now he's leaving rainbow sheens on the leaderboard while I'm stuck here calculating how many more weeks of this B-movie nonsense I have to endure. Someone please send help - or at least better fog machine fluid.