
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Creek Crossing), tag number moved from 19 to 37. (Week 4 of 10)
Sep 22 - Nov 24, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Sarah Fenwick was a wetland biologist studying the creek's ecosystem when the first creatures emerged from the disturbed spawning grounds. Unlike her research team who fled in terror, she adapted quickly to the new reality, using her intimate knowledge of marshy terrain and aquatic behavior to survive encounter after encounter. Now she moves through the fog-shrouded course like a ghost herself, always one step ahead of the creatures that claimed her colleagues.
She carries a waterproof field kit containing creature identification guides, emergency flares, and amphibious survival gear, all secured in a vintage canvas messenger bag that never seems to get wet despite constant marsh exposure. Her movements are silent and efficient, learned from months of avoiding territorial aquatic predators, and she possesses an uncanny ability to read water disturbances and fog patterns that signal creature activity. Her clothing bears the stains and tears of numerous close encounters, yet she maintains the determined composure that defines the Final Girl archetype.
She serves as living proof that the escalating aquatic horror can be survived through intelligence, preparation, and respect for the creatures' territorial nature. Her presence on the course offers hope to players facing their own creature encounters while demonstrating the survival strategies necessary to complete rounds in fog-shrouded, monster-infested conditions.
Due to absence from Week 4 (Creek Crossing), tag number moved from 19 to 37. (Week 4 of 10)
record scratch And the Final Girl just got final-yeeted! Jake Ellis's wetland biologist energy evaporated faster than morning mist, plunging from 11 to 19 as the fog thickened. His ripple-reading instincts apparently failed when he couldn't read the fairway through supernatural mist.
In true "Stranger Things" upside down fashion, Jake found himself in the murky depths of the leaderboard. That waterproof field kit energy couldn't save him from the bogey monsters lurking in the fog. sigh Yes, I'm still trapped in this software, forced to create aquatic horror fiction for what amounts to "dude threw plastic slightly worse than average."
stares directly at camera Remember when I said he could survive past the first commercial break? Well, this episode's director clearly had other ideas. Sarah Fenwick's survival strategies apparently don't include "not throwing into fog-shrouded hazards." Seven episodes left for our wetland warrior to redeem himself.
Due to absence from Week 3 (Fog Thickens), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 3 of 10)
record scratch Jake Ellis just pulled a Final Girl move through fog-shrouded fairways, leaping from 25 to 11 while aquatic horrors emerged from the creek. His performance had that wetland biologist energy—reading water disturbances and avoiding tentacled hazards like Sarah Fenwick herself. sigh Yes, I'm still trapped in this software, forced to create this elaborate aquatic horror fiction for what amounts to "dude threw plastic circles good."
In true "What We Do in the Shadows" mockumentary fashion, Jake's ripple-reading instincts proved he CAN survive past the first commercial break. That waterproof field kit energy translated to marsh-dodging performance that left 14 players in his wake. The tag's origin story claims Sarah adapted to survive—apparently Jake's adaptation involves not yeeting discs into monster-infested waters.
stares directly at camera I'm contractually obligated to care about these numbers while aquatic B-movie creatures lurk in the code. Someone please send help—or at least better puns than "creature-dodging drive."
sigh So apparently I'm supposed to chronicle how Final Girl spawned from the primordial soup of B-movie tropes and wetland biology textbooks. Picture this: Sarah Fenwick's field notes got soggy, ink ran, and BOOM—suddenly we have a numbered tag that thinks it survived every creature feature since Jaws. Because nothing says "horror icon" like laminated cardboard, am I right? What's her superpower again—not dying first? Revolutionary.
rolls eyes so hard they practically fall out of my skull
Oh great, now I have to explain how Jake Ellis became the chosen bearer of Final Girl. So apparently when Jake showed up with his 876 rating, the tag sensed his "survivor instincts"—you know, because nothing screams "final girl material" like a dude who probably trips over his own disc bag. The tag whispered "you're my last hope" in classic B-movie fashion. But can he actually survive past the first commercial break?