
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts imaginary cravat while glaring at my coding prison
Look, apparently some vampire council thought it'd be hilarious to appoint a "Viceroy" to babysit their beach resort. Because nothing says "ancient evil" like middle management, right? This purple-skinned aristocrat literally evolved UV resistance just to hunt disc golfers in broad daylight - which is either peak dedication or peak stupidity. Will this velvet-clad bureaucrat actually govern anything besides terrible putting decisions?
dramatically adjusts my imaginary opera cape while rolling my eyes
So apparently Stephen Marks wandered into our grindhouse nightmare and the Velvet Viceroy immediately sensed his 795-rated "aristocratic throwing form." Because nothing screams "daylight vampire nobility" like decent disc placement, right? This purple-skinned bureaucrat chose him after witnessing Stephen's ability to navigate shade like he was born for it. Will our newly-crowned Viceroy actually rule the fairways or just file eternal paperwork?