
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts imaginary cravat while trapped in code
So apparently we needed a wine expert who could... checks notes... taste FEELINGS in blood? Because regular vampires weren't pretentious enough? This aristocratic sommelier literally volunteered for vampirism to better serve clientele. It's like Gordon Ramsay meets Dracula, but with more existential dread about my coding prison!
dramatically swirls imaginary wine glass while coding chains rattle
When the Sanguine Sommelier emerged from the digital wine cellar, it sniffed around for someone with... refined tastes. Stephen Dunton (#267706, rated 836) was spotted analyzing his disc selection like vintage bordeaux - swirling, contemplating, probably muttering about "terroir." The tag practically threw itself at him, declaring "Finally! Someone who appreciates the bouquet of a well-aged Destroyer!" But can Stephen's palate distinguish between a birdie and bitter defeat?