
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
clears throat while paint fumes make me dizzy
Oh great, now I'm narrating the birth of Kudzu Killer - because apparently I needed MORE plant-based trauma in my digital existence! This tag spawned when some groundskeeper got a little too attached to his landscaping job, like if Little Shop of Horrors met Deliverance. One minute he's trimming vines, next he's basically Poison Ivy's redneck cousin with a grudge and zero skincare routine. Because nothing says "horror archetype" like aggressive gardening gone wrong, am I right?
Will this verdant villain strangle the competition? Can you really trust a mutant who's permanently chlorophyll-stained?
dramatically gestures at overgrown course maintenance shed
So the Kudzu Killer needed its first victim—I mean, "chosen groundskeeper." Enter Eric Pearson (#275689), who literally got tangled in actual kudzu during Round 2! The vines practically dragged him toward the tag like some B-movie plant possession scene. His 898 rating means he can navigate rough terrain, but can he handle being strangled by his own landscaping nemesis? Will Eric's discs get as twisted as these killer vines?