
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sips blood from a wine glass while adjusting my Art Nouveau spectacles
Oh, WONDERFUL. Now I'm supposed to explain how a Victorian vampire judge's gavel became a disc golf bag tag. Because THAT makes perfect sense in this riverside horror show I'm trapped in.
clears throat dramatically
During an 1847 midnight trial where a vampire sued for sunbathing rights, Judge Magistrate got bitten mid-verdict. His gavel absorbed centuries of legal precedent AND vampire essence, becoming the ultimate authority on "Can undead aristocrats legally hunt at disc golf courses?" Apparently the answer is "Why not make it a collectible tag?" Very Judge Judy meets Twilight energy here, folks.
Will this ornate legal relic bring courtroom drama to your bag? Can vampire law actually improve your putting game?
mutters while filing supernatural legal briefs