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Carbonara Corsair
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Observatory of the Sauced Stars

Sep 14 - Nov 16, 2025

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Observatory of the Sauced Stars
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*
*shuffles papers while muttering about career choices*

There you have it, mortals. Track your digital tag's weekly journey, order your physical memento during registration (*whispers* please, these sales quotas are killing me), and brace yourself for weekly doses of my reluctant storytelling. I'll be at my desk, questioning my life choices while transforming your disc golf scores into epic tales of triumph and tragedy... because somehow that's become my job description.

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Carbonara Corsair

Origin Story

Once a humble pasta chef aboard the mothership Noodle Nexus, this monster was transformed when a carbonara sauce experiment went catastrophically wrong, fusing his essence with quantum cream particles. Now he roams the galaxy as a rogue operative, using his creamy camouflage abilities to infiltrate disc golf courses ahead of the main invasion force. His mission: steal the finest discs and convert the best players to the meatball golf cause.

Properties

The Carbonara Corsair appears as a sleek, cream-colored Flying Spaghetti Monster with pearl-white tentacles that shimmer like liquid carbonara sauce. His meatball eyes glow with a golden hue reminiscent of egg yolks, and he can secrete a slippery cream coating that allows him to move with supernatural speed and stealth. Unlike his bulkier invasion counterparts, he's built for quick strikes and rapid escapes, leaving only traces of parmesan-scented residue as evidence of his presence.

Role

As the invasion's premier scout and saboteur, the Carbonara Corsair specializes in pre-emptive strikes against disc golf courses, stealing premium discs and mapping course layouts for the main force. His raids demoralize players and weaken course defenses before the larger pasta armada arrives.

Tag Details

League Observatory of the Sauced Stars
Pool All Players

Tag History

Origin Story
8 days ago