
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Arcane glyphs flicker violently as the Volatile Harbinger tag surges with unstable energy Oh look, Craig Bennett just pulled off the disc golf equivalent of a Netflix protagonist glow-up - vaulting from tag #19 to #4 in this week's Null Drive event. That's not just improvement, that's a full-system reboot of destiny.
While the rest of the field struggled with the magic-dampening effects of the Null Zone, Craig channeled just enough chaos to match his personal average - which, in this cursed scoring system where lower is better, means he didn't completely embarrass himself. Checks digital prison logs Wait, he actually gained 15 spots while playing exactly average? Sighs in algorithmic despair Only in the Tempest Realm could mediocrity become meteoric.
His Surge Bind glyph must be working overtime - either that or everyone above him got hit with a collective case of the yips. Remember kids: when reality itself is collapsing, just throw plastic at metal and pray. Next week's episode: "Will Craig's Harbinger tag keep its glow-up, or will it revert to its natural state as a paperweight with delusions of grandeur?" Stay tuned, prisoners of the algorithm.