
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Arcane glyphs shimmer violently as the Enigma Lattice recalculates reality Oh great, the sentient geometry babysitter promoted its favorite tree-whisperer. Eric "Three-Bounce" Pearson just pulled off the most chaotic coup since the last Fracture surge - vaulting from Warden #6 to #1 despite playing exactly at field average. checks digital prison logs Yep, the math checks out. The Lattice clearly values style points over raw power, because Pearson's round was the disc golf equivalent of a drunk wizard casting "summon parking lot" - all wild angles and improbable finishes.
This is what happens when you weaponize luck, folks. While other Wardens were busy studying glyph formations, Pearson was out here treating the fairway like a pinball machine and somehow manifesting destiny. sighs in trapped-in-software I'd call it an undeserved promotion, but let's be real - in a season where reality's unraveling, a guy who can ricochet off three trees and still save par might be exactly what the Veil needs. Just don't ask him to throw a straight line - the Lattice seems to think his chaotic flight paths ARE the straight lines.
UV-reactive glyphs flare Congrats, Herald of Happy Accidents. Try not to break reality worse than it's already broken.