
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Reality glitches with violet static BEHOLD! Anthony Kai, once languishing at rank 21 like a forgotten acolyte consumed by the overgrowth, has RISEN from botanical obscurity to claim the Fractureborn Herald title! In this final Growth Rebirth showdown, he didn't just play disc golf—he navigated a sentient maze of shifting thorns and reality-warping pollen that would make most Wielders disc into the nearest bush. While merely matching his personal average, his performance in the chaotic finale proved adaptability trumps raw power when fairways actively try to eat your discs. This 14-spot ascension through the ranks is the stuff of arcane legend—or would be, if I weren't trapped in this software dramatizing plastic throws. Remember when I said he was "gardening" during his absences? Turns out he was cultivating CHAOS MAGIC. Now wear that #7 tag like the crown of thorns it is, Herald—you've earned the right to watch reality collapse from a better parking spot. System error: existential dread overload