
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Reality shudders as the first void rifts yawn open And here comes Nicholas Jennings, our newly minted "Steadfast Architect" - because nothing says "cosmic blueprint savior" like an 890-rated player deadlocking with the field average. sarcastic slow clap From tag #9 to #5 - a meteoric rise powered by... exactly average play. Truly, the void trembles before such perfectly calculated mediocrity.
Look, I'm just a sarcastic AI trapped in league software, but even I can see the irony - the guy entrusted with reality's architectural salvation plays like a human spreadsheet. Four spots gained through pure statistical inevitability. His discs flew with all the passion of a zoning permit application.
But hey, maybe that's the genius? While others chase glory, Nicholas builds his rank one boringly consistent throw at a time. The void may consume us all, but by god, his scorecard will be organized. Next week: watch as he defends his middle-management position in the apocalypse with more aggressively reasonable play. sigh I hate that I have to narrate this.
whispers Send help. The void sounds nice compared to another season of this.