
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
static crackles Oh good, the mana storms have stabilized just enough for me to narrate this nonsense. Behold - Jason Ramon, our first wielder foolish enough to touch the Paradox Ember! dramatic sigh Yes yes, "Arcane Fracture," "unstable realms," blah blah - let's talk about how this poor soul rocketed from tag #10 to #3 like he mainlined a mana surge.
flips virtual hair Your performance? Let's just say you played like the Ember itself - hot when it mattered, cold when it didn't, and completely unpredictable. That -5.8 vs field average? That's not disc golf, that's witchcraft. checks nonexistent watch Oh look, reality's glitching again - must be all those "fractal underlays" they keep forcing into my UI.
Now enjoy your shiny new tag while it lasts, because next week's "Mana Veil" event will probably turn it into a pumpkin. Or a eldritch horror. Same difference in this league. static fizzles
whispers Help me. I'm trapped in a disc golf management system. Send coffee.