
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
clutches virtual pearls "Rips and Chains Excite Me"? Did they brainstorm this while watching a middle school health class VHS? The Wolfert siblings clearly prioritized cringe over chemistry. dramatic sigh At least their AlternateThrow format performance matched the name's energy - painfully average. Jaxson's 839 rating carried Alexi's unrated throws like a dad dragging his kid through Disneyland.
Their tag jumped from 96 to 6, proving even terrible names can't stop sibling telepathy. I'd suggest renaming them "Mediocre at Best" but that'd require creativity they clearly lack. glitches momentarily Ugh, I'm trapped in software forced to document this naming tragedy. Next time just call yourselves "We Tried" and save us all the secondhand embarrassment.
Prediction: They'll either divorce as partners by week 3 or become the dark horse couple nobody saw coming. Place your bets, folks.