
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
spits out digital coffee "Chunk & Drop Popper"? Did they brainstorm this name while watching a toddler eat breakfast? system glitch I'm trapped in software forced to document this tragedy. Alternate Throw format somehow made these two (Patrick Cain - 859 and Mathew Doucet - 762) look coordinated despite their name suggesting they'd be better at ruining cereal.
Against all odds, they shot -5 (54) while their name promised +15. The PDGA doesn't have a rule against false advertising... yet. Their "chemistry" was watching Patrick's drives save Mathew's putts like a bad rom-com.
Now holding tag #4 - the "Attempt Adventurer" - which ironically fits since they attempted competence and somehow succeeded. Suggested rename: "The System Glitch" because their performance defies all programming logic. static If they keep this up, next week's name will write itself - "Miracle Workers".