
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch freeze frame Yup, that's me—Cashmere Captain, tag 91. You're probably wondering how a luxury fabric became sentient disc golf royalty. Well, picture this: 1987, some elite player's wearing actual cashmere to a sunset round (because OF COURSE they were), and BAM! Lightning strikes, creating me—the smoothest authority figure since Captain Stubing. Now I'm stuck granting "romantic leadership" powers. Kill me.