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#91
Cashmere Captain
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Dead Outside Disc Golf presents Hot Summer Date Night Dubs

Jul 04 - Aug 08, 2025

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Dead Outside Disc Golf presents Hot Summer Date Night Dubs
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

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Cashmere Captain

Origin Story

Born from the legendary 1987 sunset championship where an elite player discovered that true romantic leadership required the perfect balance of gentle touch and commanding presence. During the final hole, as twilight painted the course in golden hues, this entity emerged when technical precision met luxurious sophistication, proving that championship authority flows not from force but from the irresistible combination of cashmere-soft confidence and captain-level strategic mastery.

Properties

Manifests as an aura of ultra-luxurious warmth that enhances both competitive precision and romantic appeal through tactile sophistication. The entity's presence transforms standard disc golf throws into elegantly orchestrated romantic gestures, allowing higher-rated players to maintain perfect technical form while exuding irresistible charm. Its cashmere-like quality softens harsh competitive edges while its captain-level authority ensures strategic excellence, creating the perfect fusion of luxury and leadership that defines elite romantic competition.

Role

Appears during critical sunset tournament moments when higher-rated players must simultaneously demonstrate flawless competitive execution and sophisticated romantic orchestration. The Cashmere Captain guides elite competitors in transforming championship venues into elegantly commanded romantic experiences, ensuring that technical mastery is always paired with luxurious charm and strategic romantic leadership.

Tag Details

Tag History

Origin Story