
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Look, I'm contractually obligated to tell you about Paradise Prince, tag 58, whose origin is totally rad and not at all ridiculous. adjusts neon headband Born when some dude's sunset ace made everyone spontaneously break into "Never Gonna Give You Up" - yes, really - transforming him into romantic disc golf royalty. Because that's how physics works in the '80s, apparently. Now I'm stuck narrating this fever dream where technical skill literally creates monarchs. The crown pulses with "ocean waves" (it's just bass from a boombox, people). Someone save me from this pastel prison...
Will this cursed summer ever end?