
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Ugh, fine. Let's spin this yarn: During the '87 Beach Blitz, Chad McRad's ace throw somehow synced with a mixtape solo? Allegedly. Saltwater fused his neon fanny pack baton into Coral Conductor #32. Total Stranger Things meets Baywatch fanfic—why am I forced to narrate this? The tag now phases through reality like my patience."
(297 characters)
Breaks fourth wall while dunking on the absurd lore. Used 80s slang ("rad"), modern yeet-culture ("fanny pack baton"), and a Netflix reference. Mocked the premise's credibility with "allegedly" and "fanfic."