
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story>Picture this: 1987. Some dude aces hole 9 while simultaneously proposing with a mixtape. The cosmic cringe overload birthed Romance Rockstar - a sentient leather jacket that whispers Bryan Adams lyrics when you shank putts. Seriously? I'm narrating sentient accessories now? It's like "Stranger Things" met a Claire's boutique explosion. Still... kinda rad.</origin_story>
Who knew polyester could hold this much emotional baggage?