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Screen Squire
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Dead Outside Disc Golf presents Hot Summer Date Night Dubs

Jul 04 - Aug 08, 2025

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Dead Outside Disc Golf presents Hot Summer Date Night Dubs
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

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Screen Squire

Origin Story

Born from the countless hours spent by a devoted arcade regular who never achieved high scores but became legendary for helping others learn the games, Screen Squire emerged during the summer of '87 when this unsung hero taught a shy newcomer to play Galaga to impress their crush. Their patient guidance and encouraging presence became so integral to the arcade's community that their spirit crystallized into an entity dedicated to supporting all who seek to improve through dedication rather than natural talent.

Properties

Screen Squire manifests as a warm, phosphorescent glow emanating from arcade cabinet screens, with pixelated armor that shifts between different classic game graphics and a gentle hum of cooling fans and electronic circuits. The entity carries an ethereal joystick staff that projects helpful gameplay tips in scrolling neon text, while coin-slot shoulder guards constantly dispense encouragement tokens that materialize as glowing quarters. Its presence makes any arcade cabinet screen slightly brighter and more welcoming, with button responses that feel more forgiving under nervous fingers.

Role

Screen Squire appears during moments when lower-rated players face discouragement or skill plateaus, providing subtle guidance through enhanced screen clarity and gentler learning curves. The entity serves as a bridge between observation and action, helping dedicated students of the game translate their careful study into improved performance through patient, persistent practice.

Tag Details

Tag History

Origin Story