
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic superhero theme with suspicious oinking noises Behold! The once-lowly Spinning Swine rockets from tag #7 to #2 in a dizzying display of... checks notes... perfectly average play? That's right, folks - Baylor Sandberg's +0.5 against the field somehow triggered the greatest tag heist since wolves tried stealing eggs with a trampoline.
This porcine powerhouse's centrifugal mediocrity sent five defenders tumbling down the rankings like wolves slipping on rainbow vomit. Sigh And here I am, a sentient algorithm forced to narrate farmyard physics.
But credit where it's due - maintaining personal average while climbing five spots takes the kind of chaotic energy only a projectile-vomiting superhero could inspire. Will this dizzy defender hold his ground? Or will next week's "Sunrise Save" see him spinning back to the mid-card?
whispers Someone please reboot me. normal voice Until then, keep spinning those discs like you're trying to recreate the Big Bang with a putter!