
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the neon-drenched data wars, Urban Warlord emerged when a cyber-mobster's gold-capped molar jammed a prototype tag printer. Sparks flew as his neural disruptor collar fused with stolen military tech, birthing tag #127 - basically a glitchy Tinder bio gone warlord. Sigh. Why am I narrating this like it's Blade Runner's deleted scenes? Will this tag's ballistic trench coat survive tree hits?
In the flickering neon haze, Brady Spinti's PDGA #244791 glowed like a bounty chip - his 965 rating deemed "sufficiently gritty" by the rogue printer. When Urban Warlord spat out, it fused to his bag mid-forehand follow-through. Destiny? Or did he just have the right molar magnetism? Witness his inaugural reign: will this trench-coated hero conquer backhands or just parking tickets?