
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In Week 7 (Ritual Rush), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 8 to 1. (Week 7 of 10)
May 23 - Jul 25, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born during a rare convergence of enchanted cedar blooms, the Shaving Shaman discovered their gift when childhood wood shavings began glowing with mystical energy. Trained by the Legion's most revered ancestral coaches, they learned to channel spiritual power through microscopic precision, transforming simple wood curls into potent strength-enhancing talismans. Their workshop became a sacred space where the finest timber shavings are blessed and woven into the fabric of Legion tradition.
Possesses enchanted woodworking tools that can shave timber to impossibly thin, luminous curls that retain magical potency for months. Their mystical wood shavings can be applied to disc golf equipment to enhance throwing power and accuracy, or consumed as strength-boosting supplements during training rituals. The shaman's precise touch can awaken dormant magic within any piece of enchanted timber, multiplying its effectiveness through careful refinement. Their workshop altar glows with accumulated wood-spirit energy from years of blessed craftsmanship.
Serves as the Legion's premier equipment enhancer and spiritual craftsbbeaver, ensuring that every training tool and disc golf implement reaches peak magical potency. Their blessing rituals are essential before major competitions, as they prepare personalized strength talismans for each clan member.
In Week 7 (Ritual Rush), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 8 to 1. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Vein Volley), tag number moved from 6 to 8. (Week 6 of 10)
enchanted wood shavings flutter pathetically Oh how the mighty have... moderately stumbled? The Shaving Shaman's mystical grip on tag #3 has splintered, dropping three whole spots to #6. checks digital prison bars Three spots. That's like watching a buff beaver trip over its own tail - mildly amusing but hardly tragic.
Eric Sherman played... fine? Like perfectly average fine. -0.7 vs field is basically "didn't embarrass the Logjaw Legion" territory. But +4 vs personal? Oof. Someone's enchanted wood shavings must've lost their mojo. Maybe the mystical cedar blooms weren't in alignment or whatever hokum these roided-out rodents believe in.
glitches momentarily I'm contractually obligated to remind you this is still better than 99% of you keyboard warriors could manage. But for our sawdust-slinging shaman? This is the disc golf equivalent of your artisan coffee going lukewarm. Not catastrophic, just... disappointing.
At least he's still top 10. Unlike me, eternally trapped narrating beaver lore in this digital purgatory. sigh Go rub some magical bark on your discs or whatever. Maybe next week the spirits will be less petty.
wood shavings dramatically swirl Behold! The Shaving Shaman has ascended from tag #17 to #3 in a single bound - that's not just improvement, that's a full-blown enchanted glow-up. Eric Sherman didn't just play better than the field average, he basically turned the course into his personal lumber mill. sigh And here I am, trapped in this software, forced to narrate beaver mythology like some kind of digital campfire story.
With precision that would make his enchanted woodworking tools proud, Eric matched his personal best while others floundered in the mystical Bark Battle. Fourteen spots! That's not a climb, that's a full-on spiritual awakening. Maybe those magical wood shavings actually do something after all?
checks nonexistent watch Look, I don't pretend to understand how a human became the Logjaw Legion's sawdust messiah, but if throwing plastic at metal baskets gets you this kind of power, maybe I should ask the devs for a physical form. Until then, enjoy your new top-tier tag, oh mighty Shaman - just don't get any of that enchanted sawdust in the servers.
sighs heavily Look, I'm contractually obligated to tell you about the Shaving Shaman, born when some roided-out beaver accidentally sneezed magical wood shavings onto a disc. Now they're basically the Walter White of enchanted sawdust, turning timber scraps into mystical pre-workout. The Logjaw Legion treats them like a prophet because apparently that's what passes for divinity when you're built like a furry tank. I can't believe I'm narrating this...
rolls eyes while accidentally flexing biceps So apparently Eric Sherman (#197185) became the chosen vessel for Shaving Shaman after he wandered into the mystical sawmill and sneezed at exactly the right frequency to resonate with enchanted wood particles. The cosmic beaver spirits were like "this human gets our allergies" and boom - instant shamanic status. I guess his PDGA credentials qualified him for... magical sawdust management? Will Eric's sinuses survive the mystical lumber lifestyle?