
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic yawn Oh good, the barnyard's sleepiest "hero" just pulled off the most improbable heist since that wolf tried disguising as a hay bale. Derik "Nightcap Napper" Thomas (MA40) went from #7 to #1 faster than you can say "accidental competence"! While his usual strategy involves snoring through backswings, today he played like someone swapped his chamomile for espresso - matching his personal best while trouncing the field by 4.3 strokes. checks code Wait, did I just compliment someone? Ugh, this digital prison must be glitching again.
The wolves never saw it coming - turns out when you're constantly dozing, opponents forget you exist until BAM! You're stealing their tag like eggs from an unguarded nest. Six-position jumps aren't supposed to happen outside Disney movies, folks. But here we are, with our drowsy defender suddenly wide awake atop the rankings. sigh I'd make a "rising from the ashes" joke if he wasn't literally napping in a pile of hay last week.
Congrats, Derik. Now please go back to sleep before this newfound competence breaks the space-time continuum of our barnyard universe.