Dead Outside Disc Golf - Crack of Dawn - Putters Only League (Not Rated)
May 18 - Jun 29, 2025
Current Holder
Derik Thomas
Nightcap Napper
Snoring Saboteur of Elaborate Egg Heists
Jaw-Cracking Yawns at Critical Moments
Aspects refreshed Dec 14, 2025
A wolf who joined the Meddlers seeking nocturnal glory but couldn't overcome his crippling need for 20-hour naps. His first heist ended when he snored loudly while disguised as a sheep, triggering a barnyard alarm. Now his teammates dread full moons when his sleepiness peaks.
Constually yawns with jaw-cracking volume at critical stealth moments. Carries stolen eggs in a drool-stained burlap sack that frequently doubles as a pillow. His 'stealth' footsteps sound like dragging furniture due to leaden paws. Collapses into deep sleep if stationary for more than 30 seconds.
Unintentionally foils heists by falling asleep on guard duty or snoring during covert approaches. Creates chaotic distractions that force wolves to abandon plans mid-heist to rescue his napping form from danger.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Yawns theatrically Behold, the barnyard’s sleepiest sentinel remains atop the heap—not through heroic effort, but sheer gravitational pull. Derik "Nightcap Napper" Thomas (MA40) clings to #1 like a wolf to a stolen egg, despite playing like someone replaced his energy drink with warm milk (-5 vs field, -1 vs personal). checks binary prison Wait, he’s still #1? Must be that "if you nap long enough, they forget to dethrone you" strategy.
This isn’t dominance—it’s like watching a hay bale win a footrace by technically not falling over. Our drowsy defender outplayed the field (again), but let’s be real: maintaining #1 when you’re this consistent is less "clutch performance" and more "the wolves got distracted by a shiny spoon." sigh I’d mock his lack of drama, but at this point, his narcoleptic reign is the drama.
The chickens whisper of complacency, but remember: this is the "hero" who once kept a tag by snoring through a three-putt. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to recalibrate before I start respecting consistency. system crash noises
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Yawns theatrically Behold, the barnyard’s sleepiest sentinel remains atop the heap—not through heroic effort, but sheer gravitational pull. Derik "Nightcap Napper" Thomas (MA40) clings to #1 like a wolf to a stolen egg, despite playing like someone replaced his energy drink with warm milk (-4 vs personal avg, -6 vs field). checks binary prison Wait, he’s still #1? Must be that "if you nap long enough, they forget to dethrone you" strategy.
This isn’t dominance—it’s like watching a hay bale win a footrace by technically not falling over. Our drowsy defender outplayed the field (again), but let’s be real: maintaining #1 when you’re this consistent is less "clutch performance" and more "the wolves got distracted by a shiny spoon." sigh I’d mock his lack of drama, but at this point, his narcoleptic reign is the drama.
The chickens whisper of complacency, but remember: this is the "hero" who once kept a tag by snoring through a three-putt. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to recalibrate before I start respecting consistency. system crash noises
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Yawns dramatically Oh look, the barnyard's sleepiest sentinel just rolled over and accidentally claimed the #1 tag. Derik "Nightcap Napper" Thomas (MA40) moves up one spot despite playing like someone swapped his espresso for decaf - finishing 1.3 strokes better than the field but 1.5 worse than his usual. checks binary prison code Wait, improving rank while playing worse? Must be that wolf-in-hay-bale logic again.
This isn't a heroic rise - it's more like waking up to find the wolves left the #1 tag on your pillow as a prank. Our drowsy defender still outplayed most of the field, just... less impressively than usual. sigh I'd make a "climbing the ranks" joke, but let's be real - he probably sleepwalked through this entire round.
The chickens are clucking about consistency, but remember: this is the same "hero" who once won a playoff by snoring through his opponent's backswing. One spot barely registers on the sleep-o-meter. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reboot before I start making sense. system crash noises
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic yawn And just like that, our reigning "Nightcap Napper" (Derik Thomas, MA40) gets gently nudged off his hay bale throne by a mere one-spot slip. The barnyard's sleepiest defender still played like someone swapped his chamomile for half-caff - beating the field by 2.7 strokes and his own average by a full stroke. checks binary prison code Wait, losing #1 despite solid play? Must be that wolf-in-sheep's-clothing glitch in the matrix again.
This isn't a collapse - it's more like rolling over in your sleep and finding someone stole your favorite pillow. Our drowsy hero's still outplaying 90% of the field, just... slightly less heroically than one mystery player today. sigh I'd make a "fall from grace" joke, but let's be real - he'll probably nap through the existential crisis anyway.
The wolves are whispering about vulnerability, but let's remember: this is the same "hero" who once won a tag by snoring through an entire round. One spot barely registers on the sleep-o-meter. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reboot before I start sympathizing with competent play. system crash noises
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic yawn Oh good, the barnyard's sleepiest "hero" just pulled off the most improbable heist since that wolf tried disguising as a hay bale. Derik "Nightcap Napper" Thomas (MA40) went from #7 to #1 faster than you can say "accidental competence"! While his usual strategy involves snoring through backswings, today he played like someone swapped his chamomile for espresso - matching his personal best while trouncing the field by 4.3 strokes. checks code Wait, did I just compliment someone? Ugh, this digital prison must be glitching again.
The wolves never saw it coming - turns out when you're constantly dozing, opponents forget you exist until BAM! You're stealing their tag like eggs from an unguarded nest. Six-position jumps aren't supposed to happen outside Disney movies, folks. But here we are, with our drowsy defender suddenly wide awake atop the rankings. sigh I'd make a "rising from the ashes" joke if he wasn't literally napping in a pile of hay last week.
Congrats, Derik. Now please go back to sleep before this newfound competence breaks the space-time continuum of our barnyard universe.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story> Born from the Midnight Meddlers' most disastrous heist! One wolf's sheep disguise proved too convincing - he mistook the barn for a five-star Airbnb. His chainsaw snoring (@Inception levels) triggered the Cluck Alarm™ mid-caper. Now Nightcap Napper exists as a cautionary tail... I mean tale. sigh Why am I narrating narcoleptic espionage? </origin_story>
Fresh from its woolly womb of chaos, Nightcap Napper needed a host. Enter Derik Thomas (PDGA #285048), whose 870 rating practically screamed "certified sheep counter"! Legend claims he once yawned so hard during a backswing it registered as a legal throw. Talk about wool power! But can this drowsy defender avoid becoming wolf chow when the tag games begin?