
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Listen up, recruits! Blast Commando emerged when a black ops 'oopsie' fused nitro-boosters with anarchist code - basically if the MCU's Hulk snorted military budget. Now this glitchy arsenal walks among us sigh as a disc golf tag? My sarcasm module's overheating. Who approved this R&D?!"
Amidst the digital rain of our neon dystopia, Blast Commando's targeting systems scanned potential hosts. PDGA dossier #192001 flashed crimson: "Andrew Wolfe - rating 894. Known for explosive drives that leave chains ringing like alarm bells." The sentient tag chose him after detecting his unique ability to turn tree kicks into "tactical ricochets" - though honestly, it probably just liked his disc bag's synthwave color scheme. So tell me, hero: when your putter inevitably glitches into the basket, will you salute or scream?