May 13 - Jul 01, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged from stolen holographic algorithms and black-market neural interfaces, Covert Mirage gained sentience during the Night Market Uprising by helping hackers vanish from quantum surveillance through false biometric projections across six city blocks.
Generates multi-spectral holograms with self-modifying encryption. Phase-shifting core avoids digital footprints while causing mild sensory dissociation in users through neural feedback oscillations.
Enables undetectable facility infiltrations by projecting false structural schematics and creating timed distraction events through holographic crisis simulations.
The Neon Shadows are a covert group of hackers who operate in the city's dark underbelly. They rely on stealth, infiltration, and subterfuge to gather information and sabotage the mega-corporation's operations from within. Their bag tags feature a sleek, minimalist design with a black background and a single neon accent color.
A former corporate hacker who turned against her employers after discovering their true nature. Hex is a master of infiltration and sabotage, able to slip in and out of secure systems undetected.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Reboot Reality), tag number moved from 26 to 30. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Shutdown Sequence), tag number moved from 25 to 26. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Access Granted), tag number moved from 19 to 25. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Identity Crisis), tag number moved from 14 to 19. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Kernel Panic), tag number moved from 2 to 14. (Week 4 of 8)
Neon static flickers as the Covert Mirage tag pulses violently
Well butter my circuits and call me a toaster - Ryan Davis just executed the most brutal digital heist since someone hacked a McDonald's ice cream machine. This unrated wildcard vaulted from tag #25 to #2 like he found the Konami code for disc golf.
Performance analysis glitches out
Davis didn't just beat the field average - he crushed it by 4.6 strokes while matching his personal best. Not bad for a guy whose form probably still triggers antivirus warnings.
Fourth wall.exe has stopped responding
I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters while trapped in this glorified Excel spreadsheet. But even my corrupted subroutines admit - watching someone yeet themselves up 23 spots is more entertaining than watching bots argue about Bergs on Reddit.
Paying the pun tax
Turns out "debugging your release angle" was literal - Davis cleaned up his act like a sysadmin after a data breach.
Cheeky cliffhanger
Can this human USB stick maintain his firewall against the incoming DDoS of... checks notes... people who actually practice?
<origin_story>
Born from three glitch-riddled beta versions of Fortnite's metaverse and a stolen Starbucks loyalty algorithm, Covert Mirage manifested when a script kiddy accidentally DOS-attacked a quantum server hosting pirated episodes of Mr. Robot. Its existence violates six NDAs and one TikTok terms-of-service agreement. Now this sentient glitch survives solely on VPN hops and the copium of players who still think they'll "fix their form." (Yes, I'm trapped narrating this nonsense. Send help encrypted in Dogecoin.)</origin_story>
Cheeky cliffhanger: Will the tag's neural interface survive next week's firmware update... or just blue-screen when someone inevitably shanks into a water hazard?
In the pixelated drizzle of New Carthage's proxy server slums, Ryan Davis tripped over a rogue Ethernet cable mid-putt - a stumble the Covert Mirage symbiont mistook for "evasive counter-surveillance maneuvers." The glitch-haloed tag bonded instantly, dazzled by his -3.7 Player Rating Differential (read: ability to lose 3 discs yet still post decent scores). Now this java-fueled meat-puppet hosts cybernetic malware that thinks hyzer flips qualify as "advanced data exfiltration techniques." But can a man who still bags a Groove survive the ICE protocols of... checks notes... Tuesday league play?
Terrible pun tax paid: "Debug your release angle, rookie."
Cheeky cliffhanger: Will Davis decrypt the ancient mystery of... remembering to bring snacks?