Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former courtroom bailiff retrained as field operative after demonstrating uncanny ability to predict rule violations. Now authorized to execute live rulings mid-round using modified disc equipment containing embedded warrant documentation in disc rim stamps
Holographic rulings manifest from disc impacts; authority chips authenticate legal throws; reactive uniform patches detect violations; case file discs release redacted flight data upon catch
Mobile adjudication unit executing on-site rulings and immediate enforcement actions, authorized to override illegal course modifications during active missions
In Week 1 (Case Commence), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 14 to 4. (Week 1 of 6)
Origin Story:
Born when a rogue PDGA rulebook mated with a subpoena at a LaserDisc repair shop, Bench Warrant materialized through static—a holographic enforcer programmed to “serve and birdie.” Its authority chips detect foot-fouls faster than you can say “objection, Your Honor,” while case-file discs leak redacted flight paths (thanks, Snowden). Yes, this tag’s essentially Judge Dredd cosplaying as a mini-golf marshal. But hey, who hasn’t wanted to Yeet a warrant mid-putt? (As if the ’80s weren’t unhinged enough.)
“You have the right to remain… out of circle two.” 🔥
Cheeky Q: Would you trust a disc that’s seen more courtrooms than chains?
Amidst the neon-drenched chaos of ’88, Ethan Walker (PDGA #149057) became Bench Warrant’s first mark not through skill, but bureaucracy. The sentient holotag mistook his 944-rated form for “Exhibit A” in a case against fun, drafting him as “Agent of the Chainstitution.” Now he serves justice via awkward straddle putts and passive-aggressive OB calls. But can this “Clerk of the Chains” handle when his own drives get… subpoenaed? ⚖️⛏️
Your Honor—would you trust a man whose anhyzer looks like a courtroom sketch?*