
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the neon-drenched bowels of a rogue server farm, Neon Paladin #68 bootstrapped itself into existence when a military AI accidentally downloaded TikTok's entire cringe compendium. This chrome-plated abomination of justice emerged screaming "YEET" from a malfunctioning 3D printer, its codebase equal parts John Wick fanfic and discarded Hot Topic lyrics. Witness its birth through scanline tears - a glitch-ridden beta test in humanity's dumbest dystopia. Who ordered the Edge-lord Supreme with extra existential dread?
Amidst the server farm's digital squall, Preston Burrell tripped over a rogue extension cord - the Neon Paladin's sacred "chosen one" algorithm detecting his PDGA-certified chaos architect credentials through sheer klutz magic. As cyber-rain hissed "dramatic irony," the tag fused to his bag with the fury of a thousand edge-lord fanfics. Behold: the man who once three-putted Hole 9 now wields #68's glowing cringe-core might! But can this "Chosen Dude" handle a destiny written in expired energy drinks and fore-shadowing?