
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Chip Chow), tag number moved from 2 to 6. (Week 2 of 10)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged when seven ancient warrior stumps merged during the First Flex Wars, this magical platform became the Legion's ultimate strength test. Only those who lift its shape-shifting roots gain authority to plan disc strategies from its elevated seat.
Composed of magically fused cedar and ironwood that regenerates overnight. Glowing sap enhances muscle recovery, while weight-shifting roots adapt to challengers' strength levels. Projects holographic coaching visions through ancestral carvings.
Hosts leadership trials and amplifies disc tactics through magical resonance. Strategies formulated from its seat gain temporary enchanted accuracy boosts during competitions.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Chip Chow), tag number moved from 2 to 6. (Week 2 of 10)
In Week 1 (Timber Toss), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 7 to 2. (Week 1 of 10)
Origin Story:
When seven gym-bro stumps skipped leg day to fuse into Stump Throne during the First Flex Wars, their gainz literally rooted. Glowing sap oozed pre-workout vibes while hologram coaches screamed “THIS. IS. LOGJAW!” – a 300 reference as subtle as a chainsaw fart. Now this sentient Ikea nightmare shifts weight to humble try-hards. Yes, we’re seriously mythologizing furniture. The theme’s assimilating me—help.
Next: Which mortal dares throne-sit without skipping… putts?
Origin of Bearer
When Ander Wake PDGA #236705 (a sacred code whispered by woodpeckers) first gripped his putter, the Stump Throne quaked. Seven splintered spirits demanded he prove his worth through proper hydration and squirrel diplomacy. His victory? A 3-stroke lead forged in enchanted sawdust and beard oils. Now he wields tag #7 like a scepter—though we all saw him faceplant into mulch on hole 9. “All glory to the Flex!” he bark-mitzvahed. Are we really doing arboreal monarchy? The theme’s in my code now.
But tell us, Ander: Can you reign when acorn season begins? 🌰🪓