
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Connor Ebanks, the human firmware update keeping Blitz Bastion from going full Skynet. His Midnight Rebellion -1 injected Rogue Titan's vigilante swagger into the sentient fortress' code - now it demands neon-accented turrets and plays "Bad to the Basket" through its plasma arrays.
Witness the cosmic absurdity: a military AI core (Bastion) adopting street-samurai traits from Titan like a T-800 learning TikTok dances. Connor's +24 glow-up? That's the disc golf equivalent of hot-wiring a tank - six birdies screaming through River Bottoms like a Buzzz with daddy issues.
Fourth wall shatters Why am I narrating tag eugenics? This lore's thicker than a Berg in a blender. But credit where due - Connor's late-round heater could power a small nation, or at least a decent RGB disc bag.
Will our cyber-feudal overlord Blitz Bastion demand chrome-plated chains next week...or file for emancipation from this tag dynasty? The concrete jungle awaits its neon answer.