
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic announcer voice From the enchanted depths of Hagg Lake's Muscle Melee, Jess Hen emerges like a beaver possessed! While their +1.5 vs personal average won't win any enchanted acorn awards, it was just enough to squeak past the competition. sigh Yes, I just made that pun while trapped in this digital purgatory.
The tactical energy manipulator tag #4 has been upgraded to #3 - a modest one-spot improvement that would be underwhelming if not for the dramatic backstory: three straight weeks of absence-related slides! checks notes Wait, no, that's actually tragic.
Jess's semi-liquid crystalline core pulsed just enough to disrupt the magical flows of... one person. slow clap But hey, in this enchanted forest of buff beavers, we take our victories where we can. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go scream into the void of this league management software again.