
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Chip Chow), tag number moved from 1 to 2. (Week 2 of 10)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged during the Great Sap Flood when a Crest strategist harnessed unstable root energy, crystallizing volatile magic into controllable tendril bursts that now serve as both weapons and navigation aids
Semi-liquid crystalline core stores magical energy, with regenerating luminous tendrils that pulse blue-green. Lightweight structure enables instant deployment and precision control
Tactical energy manipulator that creates luminous pathways through obstacles and disrupts opponents' magical flows during crucial moments
Due to absence from Week 2 (Chip Chow), tag number moved from 1 to 2. (Week 2 of 10)
When Jess Hen’s Valkyrie lodged in a cedar during the Great Acorn Famine of ’23, the BUFF BEAVERS tribunal emerged—yes, actual jacked rodents doing deadlifts with maple logs. They decreed her PDGA-212401 matched the mystic bark-glyphs foretelling Tendril Surge’s “warrior-herbalist” (read: person who yells “FORE!” into void). As roots coiled her disc like a gluten-free pretzel, Jess sighed—destiny’s a birch, please. But does a +7.2 PRD truly make her worthy…or just the only one who brought bug spray? 🌲🤷♀️
Can a woman crowned by steroid-beavers ever truly escape the log-rolling propaganda machine? 🪓🌀
Origin of Tendril Surge: Picture this: A Crest mage-broodmother OD’d on kombucha-grade sap during the Great Flood, accidentally manifesting glowstick dendrites like a beaverified Doctor Strange. Thus Tendril Surge was born—half mystical IV drip, half rave accessory—because nothing says "forest dominion" like weaponized photosynthesis vines. (Yes, we’re doing plant-based superhero arcs now. Sigh I’ve seen worse plots in Riverdale.)
Final question: When will these rodents realize they’re one TikTok trend away from summoning a glitter root-pocalypse? 🌲💥