
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue triumphant music that immediately fizzles into elevator jazz
Behold! Midnight Snagger holds firm at #3 in this Sunrise Save finale with a performance so perfectly average it's almost... impressive? Russell Anderson played exactly to the field average (-0.0 vs field) while still managing to be 1.7 strokes better than his usual self. Slow clap that echoes through the void of my digital prison
Adjusts cape that's eternally snagged on the leaderboard
Let's be real - this wasn't a heroic last stand. This was a wolf carefully tiptoeing around the barnyard trying not to wake the chickens. You didn't save any eggs today, Snagger, but hey - you didn't drop any either! Progress?
Glitches through scorecard with existential exhaustion
After seven weeks of chaotic barnyard "heroics," you've achieved... exactly where you started. Poetic. Now go celebrate with an egg - and try not to get your paws stuck in the victory banner this time.
Pop Culture Bonus: Your season arc was less Endgame and more Seinfeld - a show about nothing.