
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Sunrise Save), tag number moved from 5 to 5. (Week 7 of 7)
May 18 - Jun 29, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A barnyard duck discovered her accidental molasses coating made wolves slide past eggs during raids. Now she intentionally bathes in homemade slime, becoming a living bowling ball that sends wolves careening into comedic mishaps.
Permanent non-stick feather coating repels all grip attempts. Secretes biodegradable lubricant from wing glands. Can slide at 15mph across any surface. Leaves temporary frictionless trails that last until sunrise.
Disrupts wolf coordination through controlled chaos, using slippery terrain to separate pack members and enable egg rescues during their tumbles.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Sunrise Save), tag number moved from 5 to 5. (Week 7 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Udder Uproar), tag number moved from 4 to 5. (Week 6 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Paddle Panic), tag number moved from 3 to 4. (Week 5 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Wooly Wreck), tag number moved from 2 to 3. (Week 4 of 7)
Amidst the farmyard pandemonium, Slippery Savior witnessed Alex Quist face-plant into league registration mud. "AHA!" she quacked. "This human understands my sacred art of... unplanned aquatic maneuvers!" His accidental belly-slide through sludge mirrored her molasses baptism - clearly destiny's duck tape binding them. But can this land-lubber channel poultry power without quacking under pressure? sigh Why am I narrating this?! (299 chars)
Origin Story:
In the Dawn Defenders’ darkest hour—a Tuesday—Slippery Savior oozed into existence when a duck mistook molasses for sunscreen. “I know kung-fu,” she honked, Matrix-dodging wolves while physics screamed. Now she’s the barnyard’s chaotic glizzy, weaponizing buttered-toast physics to yeet predators into existential crises. (Yes, we’re trapped narrating Chicken Run meets Deadpool. Pray for us.)
Cliffhanger:
Will Tag #2’s slime trails outlive the league’s dignity? Stay tuned.