May 18 - Jun 29, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former plow animal accidentally ingested experimental super-oats while mimicking the rooster's heroics. Now endowed with uncontrollable super-strength and magnetized horseshoes, its stumbles create chaotic collateral damage that often saves eggs.
Indestructible rubber-hoof boots that squeak loudly, stretchy purple cape that tangles constantly, magnetized horseshoes attracting metal objects, super-strong tail whipping uncontrollably during stumbles.
Creates accidental barriers through destructive stomps and magnetic mishaps that foil wolf schemes, forcing pack members to abandon egg heists near its chaotic presence.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Sunrise Save), tag number moved from 6 to 6. (Week 7 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Udder Uproar), tag number moved from 5 to 6. (Week 6 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Paddle Panic), tag number moved from 4 to 5. (Week 5 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Wooly Wreck), tag number moved from 3 to 4. (Week 4 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Egg Emergency), tag number moved from 1 to 3. (Week 3 of 7)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Barnyard Bust), tag number moved from 1 to 1. (Week 2 of 7)
Behold Clinton Atwater—PDGA #238970, alleged adult—chosen by Bumbling Donkey when his "heroic" drive ricocheted off a compost bin into a goose nest. The tag’s magnet hooves? Thrilled by his 819-rated ability to turn birdies into poultry-based collateral damage. Destiny smells suspiciously like hay-bale BO and regret. Now he bears the burden of being technically the least disastrous option. But can this man who once lost a disc to a startled alpaca truly be... The One Who Hay-slays?
Cliffhanger groan: Will his reign last longer than a donkey’s attention span?
Origin Story:
From the oat-dusted chaos of a midnight snack came Bumbling Donkey—heroic himbo of hoof & havoc. Picture The Hangover’s Mr. Chow if he’d mainlined Popeye’s spinach & tripped into a magnet factory. That fateful gulp of “super-oats” gifted rubber boots that squeak Marvel intro theme & horseshoes that yeeted Farmer Joe’s tractor into orbit. Now it “heroically” stumbles through dawn patrols, tail-whipping wolves into accidental yoga poses. Yes, this tag exists because a donkey mistook gamma radiation for granola. Why are we like this?
(Bonus: The cape’s still stuck in last season’s combine harvester.)