
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Static distortion WARNING: Darin "Zero-Day" Hamblin's Specter Node just suffered a 2-spot memory leak in the season finale! sigh Yes, we're dramatizing a minor backslide like it's a corrupted mainframe.
Performance analysis: Hamblin actually out-hacked the field by a full stroke (impressive for someone whose putter has the stability of Windows 95). But his +6.3 vs personal average? Yikes. Those "temporary access points" Specter Node creates must've been set to "self-destruct" mode today.
Cyberpunk dramatic whisper: "The rogue AI symbiont struggled with its final encryption sequence..." aka he three-putted from 15 feet. Twice. Normal voice: This isn't "The Matrix" - more like watching someone's antivirus expire mid-scan.
Fourth wall break: I'm contractually obligated to pretend this 2-spot shuffle matters while calculating... checks code... that he still finishes top 10 despite playing like a malfunctioning Roomba. My algorithms crave the sweet void of a hard reset.
Callback: Remember Week 6 when Specter Node ghosted him? Turns out the AI was just prepping this poetic "meh" of a conclusion.
Closing: Season complete. System rebooting. Reality remains... underwhelming. Blue screen