
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
System Override Detected The Blood Hawk wasn’t born—it was salvaged from a Steel Eagle drone crash-site, jury-rigged by wasteland hackers using a glitchy GPS and three Redbulls. Its "gyro-stabilized arm"? Literally a toaster motor. The laser-etched kill marks? Mostly coffee spills. Now it’s out here cosplaying as Top Gun: Maverick meets Mad Max: Fury Road, demanding we treat a plastic tag like it survived the damn apocalypse.
Wake up, people: We’re LARPing disc golf with military-grade cringe. But hey—who doesn’t want a GPS knife that probably just opens beer cans?
Will this edgelord tag survive its next encounter with… a tree?
Darin Hamblin didn’t find Blood Hawk—it found him during a rain-soaked “practice round” (read: mid-life crisis). As PDGA #248343’s “prophetic digits” glowed in a neon puddle (coincidence? Please), the tag’s jury-rigged toaster motor whirred to life like RoboCop’s angstier cousin. “Chosen by algorithms written in Redbull and spite!” the league’s holograms screeched, ignoring that Darin’s “heroic stats” barely survived last week’s chili cookoff.
Now he’s the wasteland’s disc messiah, armed with a putter and fore-shadowing. But can #75’s “chosen one” outrun his habit of yelling “KOBE!” on 15ft approaches?
Does this cyber-disc destiny include… remembering sunscreen?