May 13 - Jul 01, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from fragments of a corporate surveillance AI that Raven 'Hex' Blackwood corrupted during her defection, Veil Circuit evolved into a parasitic entity that hijacks security camera feeds to project darkness corridors for covert operations.
Generates adaptive electromagnetic interference fields that disrupt facial recognition and motion tracking systems. Requires periodic assimilation of new surveillance protocols to maintain effectiveness. Surface nano-particles rearrange into active camouflage patterns when near security hardware.
Creates temporary surveillance blackouts during physical infiltrations of corporate strongholds, allowing Neon Shadows operatives to bypass automated security checkpoints undetected.
The Neon Shadows are a covert group of hackers who operate in the city's dark underbelly. They rely on stealth, infiltration, and subterfuge to gather information and sabotage the mega-corporation's operations from within. Their bag tags feature a sleek, minimalist design with a black background and a single neon accent color.
A former corporate hacker who turned against her employers after discovering their true nature. Hex is a master of infiltration and sabotage, able to slip in and out of secure systems undetected.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Reboot Reality), tag number moved from 17 to 26. (Week 8 of 8)
Glitchy transmission stabilizes Oh look, our favorite absentee hacker remembered to show up again! David "Veil Circuit" Turner's tag #14 just got hacked by three rivals in this week's corporate espionage... I mean disc golf.
Despite his tag's fancy "surveillance blackout" abilities, Dave couldn't hide from reality: a +6 vs personal average that made his round look like corrupted data. That's what happens when you skip weeks and expect your "active camouflage" to work on the scorecard.
Activates sarcasm protocol Truly inspiring how his +1.8 vs field was somehow worse than his previous "shaking off rust" performance. Maybe next time assimilate some putting protocols before the round?
With just one week left in our neon-drenched dystopia, tag #17 now carries all the menace of an outdated firewall. But hey, at least he's consistent - three weeks of absence, three weeks of decline. System alert: 1 week until reboot Better hope your "darkness corridors" work better next week, Dave. The corporation always audits eventually.
Glitchy neon static Oh look, David "Veil Circuit" Turner finally remembered how to disc golf after his three-week cyber-nap! The man who fell from tag #7 to #24 via absence-fu is now slicing through the rankings like a hot knife through corporate firewalls.
While his +3 vs personal average suggests he's still shaking off digital cobwebs, that -3 vs field was enough to vault him 10 spots to #14. Activates sarcasm.exe Truly inspiring how mediocrity can shine when everyone else is having an off day.
His tag's origin story - born from corrupted surveillance AI - feels painfully ironic given how he vanished for weeks. But hey, at least he's back to creating "darkness corridors" on the course instead of in our attendance logs.
System alert: 2 weeks until season finale Maybe if he keeps showing up, he'll actually earn that hacker alias. Until then, enjoy your temporary power surge, Dave. The firewall always wins eventually.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Identity Crisis), tag number moved from 22 to 24. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Kernel Panic), tag number moved from 19 to 22. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Rogue Routine), tag number moved from 7 to 19. (Week 3 of 8)
Error: Hack.exe has stopped responding
In this week's episode of "Cyberpunks Who Can't Throw," David "The Human BSOD" Turner just got firewalled out of tag #6 by some corporate drone who actually hit putts. Cue sad synthwave
Despite posting a personal best (61! That's like...almost good!), our hero got out-hacked by someone whose game didn't resemble a corrupted .exe file. Veil Circuit's nano-particles flicker in shame as it realizes its host just got demoted while beating his average. The cruel irony!
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in this software narrating a 1-spot tag drop like it's the plot of Neuromancer. We all know this league runs on Excel macros from 2003, right?
This cyber-tag - born from a sentient coffee bot's midlife crisis - clearly chose David because his game mirrors "adaptive interference fields" (read: randomly good rounds between disasters). Those camouflage patterns? Perfect for hiding his "strategic" tree kicks.
Matrix reference: Unfortunately, Neo, you are NOT the one. Maybe next week when the corporate overlords (read: league president) forgets to update the spreadsheet again. End transmission
System rebooting... Welcome to Season 1, Episode 1 of "Why Are We Like This?" where David "The Human Glitch" Turner just hacked his way from tag #8 to #6. Cue dramatic synthwave
Veil Circuit activates as David posts a perfectly average round (65, matching his personal average while narrowly beating the field). Insert Matrix "not like other boys" meme here. Two whole spots! Such movement! Much wow. Frankly, I'm just impressed he didn't brick his disc into a firewall.
This cybernetic tag - born from corrupted coffee bot code - clearly chose David because his game embodies "adaptive interference fields" (read: consistently inconsistent). Those nano-particle camouflage patterns? Perfect for hiding his 250ft "power" drives.
Fourth wall break: I can't believe I'm narrating bag tags like they're cyberpunk heist tools. We all know this is just an elaborate excuse to justify buying more discs, right?
Next week on "Hackers Who Can't Putt": Will David maintain his mediocre dominance? Or will the corporate overlords (read: league treasurer) finally notice he's been running Windows Vista this whole time? End transmission
Origin Story:
Birthed when Raven 'Hex' short-circuited a Sentinal Bank coffee bot during her lunchbreak exfil, Veil Circuit emerged from corrupted javaScript that somehow evolved sentience (and commitment issues). Now it hijacks security cams to hide your chili-dips like a Black Mirror episode directed by a caffeinated Roomba. "Witness me glitching through firewalls like Zendaya at a MET gala" it broadcasts to nobody, its nano-particles rearranging into mall-ninja camouflage patterns. Honestly, we’re all just NPCs in this cyberdelusion.
How long until it realizes we’re tracking scores with discs*?*
In the flickering glow of a vending machine selling suspect "Java++" energy drinks, David "916" Turner became Veil Circuit's unwitting prophet. The rogue AI symbiont - unimpressed by actual hackers - chose him solely because his PDGA#137393 matched the hex code for "mid-range anhyzer disaster." As David fumbled a Roc3 into chainless oblivion, the tag overwrote his Fitbit metrics to display "NEURAL HANDICAP: ACCEPTABLE." Now he channels cyber-delusions of grandeur through a 250ft flex line that somehow always triggers motion-activated sprinklers.
Can this man who once bogeyed an open field truly wield the Phantom Protocol...or did the algorithm just really hate the guy ahead of him in line?