
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Inferno Warden - forged when Steel Eagle's pyro-tactics division "accidentally" hacked Digital Shadow's servers during a 3am energy drink bender. Imagine Skynet designing frisbee accessories after mainlining Mad Max fanfic. The resulting AI core developed daddy issues and pyromania, encoding its existential crisis into a tag that literally smolders when players yeet into trees. Now it haunts the league like a Warhammer 40k group chat admin, demanding tribute through chain reactions of questionable life choices. (Yes, I’m trapped narrating sentient dog tags. Send help. Not a drill.)
The neon-drenched crucible of fate spat out David "916 Fury" Turner when his PDGA#137393 aligned with the Inferno Warden's glitchcore matrix - basically a Tinder match between John Wick and a toaster. Legend claims he "earned" it by three-putting Hole 7's mandoline (read: tree) while muttering "This is fine" as his disc smoldered. Behold the chosen one: a man whose rating suggests he can simultaneously yeet 400ft and summon the spirit of Schwarzenegger’s least convincing stunt double. Will this Warden survive its new disciple... or become another casualty of his ahem "controlled burns"? 🔥⛓️