Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
initiating emergency alert Oh look, it's Andrew "Night Shroud" Mortensen getting digitally mugged again during the climactic "Shutdown Sequence." cue dramatic system failure SFX Our MA2 "elite operative" just got his encryption keys revoked, tumbling from #15 to #20 like a corrupted backup file.
That +10.5 vs personal average? More like a +10.5 vulnerability exploit—playing like your firewall's running Windows 98. The Night Shroud tag, designed to evade corporate surveillance, couldn't mask this performance from the league's ranking algorithms. adjusts sarcasm settings to 80%
breaks fourth wall I'd say this fits the "final confrontation" theme, but let's be real—this is less "epic showdown" and more "accidentally deleted the mission-critical folder." Five spots? That's enough lost positions to form a mediocre second boy band.
Remember last week's "firewall fail"? system chuckle Turns out it was just the prelude to this full system crash. At least the tag's nanofibers are busy absorbing my secondhand embarrassment instead of corporate data.
closing transmission Night Shroud status: Critically compromised. Recommend system wipe and a new putter—preferably one that doesn’t brick under pressure. end snark.exe