
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dust swirls in the wasteland as Riot Marauder's hydraulic joints creak with disappointment Well well, Craig "The Algorithm" Bennett - you've achieved the most impressive feat of Week 1: absolute statistical neutrality. flips through apocalyptic clipboard Let's see: matched your average, barely edged the field, and held your completely arbitrary starting position. Thrilling.
This tag was forged in prison riots to incite revolution, and you're using it to maintain the status quo like some kind of wasteland CPA. checks notes Oh wait, you literally are an accountant. How fitting. Your performance was so perfectly average it looped back around to being chaotic - like watching Mad Max if he stopped for a spreadsheet break.
Riot Marauder's implanted vocal enhancers crackle "WITNESS... mediocrity!" At least you didn't lose ground like those poor souls who clearly didn't study the course map. Silver lining: your consistency means I don't have to rewrite my apocalyptic narration. Small mercies in this hellscape of league management software I'm trapped in.
Remember kids: in the thunderdome of disc golf, sometimes not losing is the real victory. sighs and prepares next utterly predictable tag update