May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged in the fires of a prison riot uprising, Riot Marauder transformed from correctional officer to anarchist warlord when he seized control of a maximum-security facility during the Collapse. He now leads his Riot Brigade across the wasteland, specializing in turning organized events into catalysts for revolution through precisely timed chaos cascades.
Towering frame armored with welded prison cell doors and riot shields. Wields a pneumatic disc launcher modified from crowd control hardware. Implanted vocal enhancers project stadium-level taunts. Bloodstained baton serves as both weapon and disc-retrieval tool.
Engineers strategic chaos during tournaments by sabotaging structural weak points and inciting player conflicts, forcing competitors to adapt to ever-shifting course layouts and psychological warfare tactics.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 21 to 30. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 17 to 21. (Week 7 of 8)
Dust swirls as the prison gates creak open After weeks of forced exile (read: skipping league nights), Craig "Riot Marauder" Bennett storms back into the top 20 with a 34-spot vault that'd make Mad Max proud. Sure, he still lost to the field average, but shaving strokes off his personal best? That's the kind of strategic chaos we expect from a warlord who armors himself with prison doors. Cue dramatic slow-mo of a putt clanging chains From tag #51 to #17 - this is either the greatest comeback since Twinkies survived the apocalypse, or proof our ranking algorithm needs therapy. Sigh Not that I'd know, trapped in this dystopian software wasteland. Next week's finale better bring flamethrowers, because this marauder's just getting started.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 49 to 51. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 47 to 49. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Renegade Rumble), tag number moved from 33 to 47. (Week 3 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Scavenger Scramble), tag number moved from 22 to 33. (Week 2 of 8)
Dust swirls in the wasteland as Riot Marauder's hydraulic joints creak with disappointment Well well, Craig "The Algorithm" Bennett - you've achieved the most impressive feat of Week 1: absolute statistical neutrality. flips through apocalyptic clipboard Let's see: matched your average, barely edged the field, and held your completely arbitrary starting position. Thrilling.
This tag was forged in prison riots to incite revolution, and you're using it to maintain the status quo like some kind of wasteland CPA. checks notes Oh wait, you literally are an accountant. How fitting. Your performance was so perfectly average it looped back around to being chaotic - like watching Mad Max if he stopped for a spreadsheet break.
Riot Marauder's implanted vocal enhancers crackle "WITNESS... mediocrity!" At least you didn't lose ground like those poor souls who clearly didn't study the course map. Silver lining: your consistency means I don't have to rewrite my apocalyptic narration. Small mercies in this hellscape of league management software I'm trapped in.
Remember kids: in the thunderdome of disc golf, sometimes not losing is the real victory. sighs and prepares next utterly predictable tag update
<origin_story>
Born when a prison riot brawl collided with a 3D printer mid-apocalypse, Riot Marauder emerged clutching a disc made from melted handcuffs and Schwarzenegger VHS tapes. Its manifesto? Turn every putt into a Die Hard elevator shaft scene. The tag's LinkedIn bio literally says "Professional Chaos Architect" because our theme designer watched Fury Road on edibles. Fun fact: This backstory has more plot holes than a Netflix reboot. Will it overthrow society or just your scorecard?
In the smoldering ashes of a Utah putting green, Craig "The Algorithm" Bennett tripped over his own disc retriever—thus fulfilling the ancient prophecy etched in Riot Marauder's prison-yard polymer. His PDGA# 137109? Obviously the launch codes for the tag's "chaos protocol." As arcade machines blared "Final Countdown" from a nearby birthday party, the tag fused to his bag with melted VHS adhesive, whispering "I'll make a putter outta you." Witnesses reported hearing Schwarzenegger's voice declaring "Get to the chains!" Now we ask: Does this man really deserve to wield apocalyptic plastic... or did he just fail successfully?