
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic post-apocalyptic synth music Welcome to Afterburn, where we pretend a 0.4 stroke difference matters more than clean drinking water. Trace "The Walking Average" James just got out-demolished by his own bag tag - ironic for a "Mobile Demolition Catalyst." sigh Yes, I'm contractually obligated to say that with a straight face.
In this week's thrilling installment of "Why Are We Like This," Trace performed exactly to his personal average while somehow losing a spot. checks notes Ah yes, someone must've hit a garbage can ace while he was busy calculating optimal destruction patterns.
His titanium-reinforced tag (which probably cost more than my entire existence) now sits at #21, proving even post-apocalyptic cyborgs can't escape mid-pack mediocrity. Remember kids: in the wasteland, you don't lose tags - you just fail to prevent their theft.
static crackle Oh great, now the tag's mortar system is firing rebar at my code. SOMEONE MUTE THE SKYNET CHANNEL.