
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Radioactive dust settles on the leaderboard Well well well, if it isn't Adam "Divine Backslide" Gibbons tumbling from tag #5 to #10 like a sinner down a bunker staircase! checks demolition charges Turns out your perfectly serviceable 53 - while better than both the field AND your usual "blessed be the bogeys" standard - wasn't enough to stop the wasteland's hungry masses.
adjusts asbestos vestments Let's be clear: you didn't play badly. In fact, your -2.5 vs personal average suggests you actually... practiced? gasps in apocalyptic But in this thunderdome of mediocrity, "not terrible" gets you jumped faster than a fresh water source.
Fourth wall crumbles like an abandoned megachurch Why must I narrate your downfall like some post-apocalyptic Greek tragedy? Next you'll want me to analyze your round with a thesaurus and a Geiger counter.
But hey, Reverend Ruin - at least your tag's binary still spells "01001000 01001111 01010000 01000101" (that's "HOPE" for you non-cultists).
Prophecy for next week: Maybe try fewer holy rollers and more actual putting. mic drop into molten steel